Vikes 36, Stillers 28...... Dec 9, 2021 …………Game # 13
Stillers-Vikes Postgame Analysis and Grades
The 6-5-1 Stillers traveled to Minnesota to face the mediocre 5-7 Dykings. The Dkyes completely dominated the 1H, cruising to a 23-0 lead.
Sure enough, the stumbling Dykings went flaccid in the 2H, replete with mistakes, foolish INTs by Cousins, and more. The Stillers stormed back, and as time expired, Ben hit Fryboy in the EZ with a pass that could have made it a 2 point game. Unfortunately, the Vike defender raked the ball out and the game was over.
Due to the late nite game, plus the slothful 1H effort by the Stillers, this will be a very brisk report.
Grades:
QB:
Held the ball forever on a 1st down play fake, and got sacked, early 2Q. He absolutely needed to get that ball OUT and take the stab down the field. Took 2 other brutal sacks in the 1H, and appeared to be madder than heck as he slunk off the field.
Tossed a perfect pass as time expired, but the ball was knocked lose by the Minn defender. Had a decent 4Q after a dreadful first 3Qs. First half: D- 2H: B+
RB:
Harris – converted a 3d & 2, 3Q, eluding and plowing thru 4 defenders to gain 3 yards. Grabbed a short TD pass later in the drive. Scored on a 1-yard plunge, early 4Q. Had 94 yards in a tough effort, plus 3 grabs. B+
McFarl – again was inactive.
Snell – Got 1 carry for a 2 yard loss in the 1H, and was stapled to the bench the rest of the game.
FB: Watt saw a few token snaps.
WR:
Wash - made a rare downfield grab on a dual possession catch, good for 29 yards. Superb TD grab, 4Q. Had 4 grabs for 65, and makes ya wonder….why did the staff write him out of the playbook the past 8 weeks ?? B+
Dionte - pretty much gave up, like the rest of the team had, on the slant that was INT’d, 3Q. Stellar grab of deep ball, 4Q. Had 5 grabs for 76. B-
Claypool – .flagged for a dead ball roughness flag, 1Q. Stupidly tried to reach the ball out for the 1st down, late 1Q, and of course the ball got slapped free by a defender, forcing a fumble that Minn recovered. By a matter of literally a millimeter, the replay revied ruled he was down, saving Carpool’s bacon. On th3e very next play, a 3d & 1, Carpool took an entirely shitty angle, and grossly missed his crack-block, allowing a DB to slice in and drop Harris for a loss to force the punt. Call it a natural hat trick! 3 major fuk up’s in 1 quarter of play !
Made a good combat catch, late 3Q. Outstanding grab of a deep ball, amid DPI, just before the 2MW in the 4Q.
Made a clutch grabs on 4th & 1 to move the chains with 40 tics left in the game. BUT, then wasted time, and played the fool, by giving a swooping “first down” signal with his arm, which wasted precious time. Does this jack-fool have any fuking idea about what it means to be a PRO ?? Had 8 grabs for 93, but the rabid fol stunts detract his grade. C+
GayRay McCloud – dropped a pass, 1Q, when he allowed the ball to CLANG off his chest. Had 6 grabs for 32. B
TE:
Pat FryBoy – got whipped on a 3d & 1 run, 4Q, which caused a 2-yard loss. Grabbed a TD, 4Q. Nearly grabbed the TD pass as time expired, but a solid play by the Dyking defender chopped the ball out of the TE’s grasp. Had 2 grabs for 32. B-
Gentry – never targeted.
OL: Overall, the line completely sucked well water the first 3 quarters, both in run blocking and pass pro. There were no holes for Harris those 3 quarters, and Ben got massacred with multiple brutal hits on sacks. They somehow got their ass together, combined with Minn taking their foot off the gas, and had an acceptable 4Q. But ya can’t play just 1Q of football.
Finney was inactive. Turner was mauled back into the QB which forced a fumble, first series. (Ben recovered.)
LeGlue got the start at LG. Flagged for a silly, needless block to the back at 2:00 4Q. Overall grade for OL: C-
DL:
Heyward – The $65M Man hasd a laughable game, esp in the 1H when he stood around and his jack-shit NOTHING.
1Q, a 30 yard RB run.....RIGHT BY Scam Heyward, who did nothing but titty-joust on the play, even well after the RB had cruised by.
Didn’t get a tackle of ANY kind until he got a solo on a toss sweep at 5:13 2Q. A few plays later, had Cook dead to right on a running play, but then waddled like a fat ass, and Cook easily scooted by for a SEVEN yard gain. On the very next play, a 3rd & 2, The Scammer got SOLO blocked by the FB, and Cook cruised by, easy as pie, for a TD to make the score 23-0. At the half, Scam had ONE solo and 0 assists.
Got an assist on a WR screen, 3Q. Stop the presses…….Scam got an assist !! Scam made an ultra rare decent play, jamming the blocker on a run and stopping the RB for a 2-yard loss. Got a slop assist, mid 4Q, on a line plunge.
Finished with a whopping 3 solos, and 3 slop assists. Should be embarrassed for the first half of sloth and ineptitude. D-
Tuitt – the big vaunted DE again sat out. What a puss in boots. F-
Wormley – didn’t do much. Wasn’t lousy, but wasn’t as strong as last game. B-
Davis and Buggs – inactive.
LB:
Bush - Cook, 20 yard run up the GUT, with Big Devin Bush blocked out as as pie by the FB. 1st & 20, 2Q, and the TE does a little babyfied crosser RIGHT IN FRONT of Bush, who moved slower than whale shit as the TE gained 19-1/2 yards on the play. Had 3 solos all game long, which is putrid for a starting ILB in this defense. D-
Schobert – Like Bush, did plenty of standing, and little tackling. Very shoddy. C-
Watt – On the 29 yard TD run, that was Sitter Watt who was SOLO blocked, and mauled way to the inside as Cook jogged around the vacated end for a cakewalk TD run. Quick -- let's lavish The Sitter with a $184M extension !
The Sitter rolled THE DONUT, with 0 solos and 0 assists, and then sat out the roughly last 8 minutes of the 1H. Never returned. Davlin Cook played despite a shoulder injru and run for over 20 yards and 2 TDs. Sitter Watt got rag dolled the entire first 22 minutes of the game, and then pouted and sat. F
Highsmith – injured a knee. Had just 1 solo.
Spillane – sat out due to a knee.
Tuszka – saw a ton of PT once Sitter Watt lamely sat out. Had no solos despite a ton of PT. C-
DB
Haden – sat out for the 4th game in a row.
Cam Sutton - abused deep by Jefferson for a TD, first series, but Jefferson was unable to make the 1 handed grab. Good bust up of WR screen, 1Q. Torched for a TD by Jefferson, 1Q. In the 4Q, after the Stillers had somehow clawed back to make it 29-20, Cam Button got torched for a 62-yard TD pass. Scorch marks all over the turf field....! C-
Norwood – played sparingly on D.
Edmunds – busted up a rare pass…..albeit it was a little piss-ant, meaningless 5 yard pass. Had 4 solos. Rarely ever near an aerial football. C
Minkah - flagged for a completely legal hit on the WR in the EZ, when he busted up a pass without hitting the WR in the head. Had a solid game. B
Pierre – pretty much sat the bench.
Witherspoon – got a DONG INT when a well thrown pass clanged off the hands of WR Jefferson. Had an INT, 4Q, which looked like a pick 6, but then ran like he had concrete in his shoes and was easily corralled well short of the end zone at the 21. Solid game. B+
Layne – got tooled by Jefferson for a TD, early 2Q, but the ball was an inch too long and it glanced off the WR’s fingertips.
Allen – got completely abused by Cook on the late 3d & 9 completion, god for 17 yards. Leave it to a Penn Batter to hump the dog in a critical play down the stretch. D
Spec teams:
Harvin– shanked a weak-assed 34 yard punt, mid 4Q. Am rapidly running out of patience with this fat-ass. D
Boswell –Hooked a 49 yard FG, 1Q. In a dome, with no wind. That was his lone attempt. C-
RayRay – had 1 half decent KO return, which of course was negated by a flag.
The punt team allowed a 17 yard return, late 1Q.
Other team Spec Team note: Jordan Cherry, who always sucked ass for the Stillers, punted with 2:26 left in the game. Instead of doing his usual punt into the EZ for a TB, or a shallow, weak punt that was FC at the 18, this faggot actually did his job, for once, pinning the ball at the 4. Fuk me.
OC: Matt Canada oversaw a ragged, moribund 1H in which the offense could do absolutely NOTHING The run game sucked. The passing game sucked. The blocking sucked.
Brilliant 2 point playcall, 12:00 4Q. They throw a WR screen to Dionte, some 2 yards BEHIND the LOS, which got engulfed by the Minn defense.
Sure, the O stormed back in the 4Q. But don’t get all giddy. The Minn defense was playing soft. They got some golden FP due to turnovers. D
DC:
Keith Assler had the luxury of facing Kirk Cousins, a journeyman extraordinaire of a QB, and an offense missing Pro Bowl WR Adam Thielen, plus star RB Dalvin Cook had a severely hampered shoulder and was highly questionable. Of course, Cook probably would have sat this game out, but after seeing films of this Softee Defense getting gashed on the ground in pretty much every game this season, Cook apparently begged the staff to let him play. (Cook went on to run for over 200 yards.)
Assler got completely gashed in the 1H in embarrassing fashion.
Got chewed up by the Minn offense, first series, but a DOG flag bogged the drive, and Minn missed a 53-yard FG.
Got completely carved, 2nd series, for a cakewalk 61 yard TD march.
90 yards rushing, 1Q.
The 3rd series, which began late 1Q and went into the 2Q, was another march down the field, but a 20 yard pass into the EZ to a WIDE open Jefferson glanced off his fingertips.
Vikes had 300 yard of offense in the 1H alone, as they cruised to a comfy 23-0 lead.
Thanks in large part to Cousin’s ineptitude, which caused 1 bad INT (plus a 2nd that was the fault of a WR), the Stillers were able to claw back. But this was yet another game where the defense was assraped and dominated, with holes in the run defense in the 1H literally 12,15, even 18 feet wide. Un-fuking-acceptable. F
HC: Mike Asslin failed, and failed miserably, to have his team ready to play, as evidenced by the 1H whipping. He pretty much has only ONE job – to have his team focused and ready to play a high level of football. And he failed, as his entire team stumbled and slept-walked thru the 1H.
Asslin didn’t need to go for 2 after a TD at 12:00 4Q. They were down by 9 at the time, with EONS of time remaining in the game. Ya don’t go for 2 here, because you have no idea if Minn will tack on a FG, or two, soon thereafter. With that much time left in the game, ya boot the PAT and make it a ONE SCORE game with an 8 point deficit.
You’ll hear all sort of lauding about how Stoogelin’s team “fought back” and “didn’t quit”. Don’t fall for this bullshit. The team QUIT the entire 1st half, getting asswhipped on both sides of the ball. They lost an entirely winnable game, and a large part of the blame should fall on the Head Dunce for the biter failure to be even remotely ready to play football at 8:20 PM. F
Synopsis: This should do it for the ’21 season. Very, very unlikely that this team can secure a wild card spot. With 4 games left, very unlikely.
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