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Stillers-Iggles Postgame Analysis and Grades

October 30, 2022 by Still Mill

Iggles 35, Stillers 13 ..... Oct 31, 2022 ………Game # 8


Stillers-Iggles Postgame Analysis and Grades


The 2-5 Stillers drove east to face the 6-0 Iggles.  Somehow, the Stillers were tied at 7 at the end of 1Q.  Of course, the Iggles easily raced ahead in the 2Q, and then turned the game into a laugher before emptying their bench early in the 4Q. 




QB:   KP got the start.    Solid 2nd drive, hitting 6 different receivers and directing a long march for a TD (aided by a Philly flag on a 4th & goal FG) 


Allowed FatAzz Hargrove to strip the ball, early 4Q.  Threw an INT deep into the 4Q when a LB got a fingertip on a pass headed to Fryboy for a TD.  


Overall, not overly impressive, but he was besieged by the PHI rush all game long, and victimized by the middle school offense run by Matt Canada.     C+ 



Harris  –  Grabbed a short pass on 3d & 3, mid 3Q, and then, instead of simply planting his foot and putting his head down and burrowing for what appeared to be an easy 1st down, he diddle danced and wasted vast time, and was stopped 2 yards short of the sticks.  I nearly threw a beverage glass thru my TV set.   Aside from an ultra-rare 18 yard dash in the 3Q, his running was bland and ordinary.  Finished with 8 rushes for 32 yards.   


Big Harris’ game by game rushing logs this season:   23, 49, 56, 74, 20, 42, 65, 32.    In other words, he sucks buttock.     D- 


Warren – Nice north-south, low running on a 2d & 13 draw play, gaining 12 and helping to keep the first scoring drive alive.  Good run on draw play, 5:48 4Q.    Dude should literally be splitting time as the co-starter right now.   B


Snell –   Didn’t play on O.


FB:    Watt played here and there.  Grabbed 5 yard pass, 1Q.   Good grab of low pass for a TD, 1Q.   B+



Dionte – solid RAC on WR screen, 2d series.  Came down far too easily on solo tackles in open field.   Had 5 grabs for 35, which is far, far too piddly for a man who sat out of team drills at camp and exhorted a king’s ransom of a new salary.    D


Claypool –  good TD pass to Watt, 1Q.  Stellar 2nd, 3rd and th effort to plow thru 3 tackles en route to a chain-moving grab, 3Q.   That, I very much liked.   Had 4 grabs for 45, and perhaps this came can spark a resurgence after the bye week.    B


Boykin – no work on O. 


Pickens –  Took 21 minutes of game team to be targeted on a pass.  Made a great catch on a backshoulder sideline pass at 5:00 2Q, but got jobbed by a blind ref.  Ref completely pumped the dawg on the OPI flag on Pickens.   A shoit call.   Had the ball fall loose on a play soon thereafter, which should have been ruled a catch.  So, he got jobbed on 2 legit catches, and was targeted only THREE times the entire game.    Inc.  


Sims – good run on an end around, early 4Q. 



Pat FryBoy –  Good grab down the seam, mid 1Q.  Had 4 grabs for 57.     B


Gentry – caught his usual 12 INCH pass and gained 3 yards.  


OL:  Overall, the line (Moore, Dotson, Cole, Daniels, Okorafor) got used and abused; most likely their worst showing of the season thus far.   The run holes were limited, and the pass pro was spotty and leaky.     


Mason Hole got mauled backwards 3 yards after the snap on a plunge, 2Q.  Pukes Okorafor was flagged for a hold, 3Q.  Okorfor and Moore were each flagged for illegal formations for failure to line up on the LoS, something that should never, ever happen this late in the season.     D



Heyward –  At the half, Big Scam Heyward is ONCE AGAIN rolling the donut.   ZERO solos, zero assists, zero nuthin'.   He's a gigantic oxygen thief, doing nothing and eating a massive amount of salcap.  


Stop the presses !!  Scam Heyward got a Dong Assist, diving into the pile after the receiver had long been stopped, late-ish 3Q.   His first stat of the day!    He' vaunted !   He then got credit for a solo Dong Sack, which should have been a SHARED sack, as another defender (Mark Robinson) was in on the Dong Sack as well.    Finished with ONE solo and ONE assist.    Sure enough, The Scammer will get a free pass from the sheep in the Pgh media.    He won’t get one here, of course.    F


Ogunjobi – did not play, due to a knee.  


Wormley – did next to nothing despite playing a ton of snaps.


Loudermilk – chipped in here and there.


Carlos Davis – made a nice play to get a sack, late 2Q. 



Bush – ZERO solos, 2 assists.  He’s becoming another Scam Heyward.    Very disappointing.    D


Jack – made a few adequate plays.  C+


Watt – again sat out due to his pec. 


Highsmith – Quiet as a church mouse.  Had 2 solos, and almost ZERO pressure on the QB the entire game.   Is sadly regressing.   C- 


Spillane – made a few tackles.  


Malik Reed – finally did SOMETHING, nipping the arm of the QB on a pass, 2Q.  Got a Dong Sack, late 2Q, when the QB ran out of the pocket, up the gut, and ran directly into Reed.   Omar Kahn will probably rush out and extend this stiff with a 4-year deal.   



Wallace – did not play. 


Cam Sutton -   good pass bustup, early 1Q.   Good bustup of a deep ball, late 1Q.  Had an adequate day.   B


Norwood – played little on D.


Edmunds – got abused on the early 4th & 2 pass completion.   Got tooled badly on the first TD pass to Brown.  Bit waaay up and got completely bamboozled on the 4th TD, early 4Q.   Had a rare bustup on a deep ball to Brown, late 3Q.  So much for all the bullshoit blather about how great this stiff has played this season.   His play has been average -- better than his usual putridity – but it’s hardly been dominant.   C- 


Minkah -  horribly misplayed the early TD pass, taking a completely asinine angle on the football.  Making matter worse, Stinkah stood FLAT FOOTED and WAITED for the ball to arrive, while Brown leapt 4 inches and grabbed the TD pass.   Failed to deliver a crisp enough blow to dislodge the ball on Brown’s 3rd TD grab.   Took yet another sh!tty angle on the 4th Philly TD, early 3Q.     D- 


‘Spoon – good play on WR screen, early 1Q.  Got abused for a long TD pass, 2Q, never once looking back for the ball nor making a play on the ball.  Not satisfied with that pilo dung, he make a weak, alligator-armed play on another lob to the EZ, getting scorched again for Brown’s 3rd TD of the game.   He was mercifully benched in the 2nd half.     D-


Maulet – played only sparingly on D.


Pierre – came in for ‘Spoon to start the 2H. 


Spec teams:  

Harvin – punted 4 times for a 45 yard average.   And amazingly, didn’t have any 28-yard shanks, like he typically does.  For the FIRST and only time all season, this pudd-puller looked like an NFL caliber punter.  B


Boswell – missed the game due to a groin injury, the 19th or so player on the team to suffer a soft muscle injury this season.    Sciba filled in at PK.   Booted a short FG, late 2Q.  Booted another FG in the 3Q.   Then booted the ensuing KO OOB, which enraged me.     B-


Sims – did an adequate job in return duties, 


Norwood was flagged for holding, negating a 45 yard KO return by Sims in the 2Q.  On a NON offsides KO, late 2Q, somehow Danny Smith's merry crew was flagged for an illegal formation.   Da fuq ??   How on earth does this happen ??   


Allen had a good power run on a fake punt, 3Q.


OC:  Matt Canada oversaw a moribund offense that moved 2 or 3 feet at a time, taking 12, 13, even 15 plays on their marches that usually petered out.  


After a PHIL hold gave the offense a 1st down, 1Q, they fiddled fugged to the point of wasting vast time and were flagged for a DOG penalty.    What in the same he11 ?? 


Mid 1Q, I loved (sic) that bootleg pass on FIRST down, which hit the slowfooted Gentry literally 12 INCHES past the LoS for a 3 yard gain.   It's hardly worth the effort.  This is a dandy play on 4th down and 2.   On first down, it’s a complete waste of time and effort.   Later in the drive, that was a fairly clever playcall by Canada to order the 4th down pass by Carpool to Watt for a rare TD.   Once (and only once) every 8 games, Canada has a bright idea....!


Mid 2Q, another illegal formation flag… least the 15th of the season !!   Then, a 2d & 19 …..and Canada orders a line plunge to the slow-footed Harris, which lost yet another yard.  


This offense is a steaming pilo garbage, and won’t improve one inch until Canada gets fired.   F



Austin again struggled like a little beehotch against a competent NFL offense.  


Starting in the 3Q, the PHI TD drivers:  3 plays, 5 plays, 2 plays, as this Softee Defense got gashed and carved as easily as a rotten pumpkin.  Someone come see me the next time Austin does ANYTHING that throws off an opposing offense or forces a turnover.     F


HC:  Mike Asslin oversaw yet another grisly azzbeating at the hands of a competent foe. 


As usual, Asslin and his staff were ASLEEP at the wheel, when Pickens grabbed a 20 yard pass and fell to the ground, and only AFTER that did the ball come loose.   It was ruled INC, and should have been challenged, but Stoogelin and company were too dimwitted to throw the challenge flag.


28-10, 6 minutes left in the 3Q....and Mike Asslin orders a FG on 4th and 4 from the PHI 11 yard line.  THAT is losing football, led by a LOSER of a head coach named Mike Stoogelin.   Sure as shoit, PHI scores AGAIN, making it 35-13.  THAT is precisely WHY ya don't order the FG on 4th & 4 from the 11 late in the 3Q.  The FG was as meaningless as a grain of sand on Daytona Beach.   Fuuking Mike Asslin strikes again !


It’s rather hilarious watching Big Mike Tomlin having sand kicked in his face like this.  F-


Synopsis:  As the Stillers limp into the bye week at 2-6, it’s abundantly clear their problems are many, with very, very little hope in sight.  You have a dimbulbed coaching staff that had no chance against the bright, energetic, innovative staffs so prevalent around the league.  This is shaping up to be a 5-win season, and even that is going to be quite arduous to attain.  



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