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Swan Song (not Lynn) from Elba

December 03, 2007 by Swissvale72

��ࡱ�>�� `b����_��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������#` ��vLbjbj�� .h��vD���������������XXXX<�,� ��(��������������� h6#b�������������� �������:,����� ���5�XI gT�0 S.�#��#��"�#�������6l�Y������ ��� �������� �������������������  Swan Song (not Lynn) from Elba �writings from exile By Swissvale72 Dateline: Elba (AP) December 3, 2007 I�d not intended to write to you from exile, not planned to compose my personal Mien Kampf, the thoughts of an imprisoned soul. In addition, however, to a few topical pieces that I generated, I�ve twice had manuscripts forwarded to me in my humble abode upon this lovely Mediterranean isle. The first I posted last Sunday, though I can see that Moderator Blitz, ever wary of those that can generate a cogent paragraph, first questioned the veracity of the writer, prior to becoming Steel Package�s most ardent supporter. The second treatise, posted the following day, was from a writer whose identity has been debated, questioned by the Khmer Rouge that this site�s moderators have become. That writer, my friend and colleague, WoburnJoe, unwittingly, has caused me considerable chagrin of late. You may recall that three weeks past this Sunday evening, WoburnJoe dialed my cell phone, and before slamming said phone shut, I became cognizant of the outcome of the Steelers-Browns contest, the result of which I had successfully shielded myself from for 8 hours, the tape of which I was 30 minutes away from viewing. Then, my staff �teammates,� Blitz and Perch accused me of bringing WoburnJoe, as well as Geoghis Beoghis onto this site, for the express purpose of spamming the message board. Anyone with half a brain, and these Brownshirts apparently fall short of that threshold, know that Mr. Beoghis is none other than Below Average Ben, and WoburnJoe, well, he works for me, see him every day. And to date, I�m supposedly responsible for a score of aliases, and then some, that list expanding on a daily basis. You may ask a couple of questions: Why had I posted WoburnJoe�s work as a Main Page article, rather than simply as a Message Board entry? What the hell am I doing in Elba? Two questions, one answer. You see Steelers brother and sisters; I had been issued a weeklong suspension from the Stillers.com Message Boards, bound and gagged in my Message Board cell, thus unable to post any of WoburnJoe�s work into its proper venue. Why suspended? As is my general practice, I�ll give a complex answer to a simple question. My Battle Cry in New England since Super Bowl XL has been, 5>3, a comparison of Steelers versus Patriots Super Bowl championships. Worst that happens this year is I�ll be saying, 5>4, similar to my 4>3 rallying cry two short years ago. What�s the point of this? Oh yeah, my suspension. It comes down to 3>1, meaning the triumvirate of Blitz, Perch & Hammer, a Wink, a Blink, and a Nod of Stillers.com constitute three Orwellian voices, versus my lone voice of reason (haha). The Prophet, CK has now embraced their position as well, convinced that I�m behind all divergent screen names in the Free World, as well as those on the opposite side of the Iron Curtain... Alas!! 4>1. With those odds, it was �Down goes Swissvale!� But this was not the Thrilla in Manila�it was the brand of frontier justice known as �Path of Least Resistance.� While my suspension was lifted on Friday, I�ve grown accustomed to life on Elba. It may be time, in the words of Chuck Noll, to �get on with my life�s work.� Those were the departing words to many of our favorite Steelers, among them Franco Harris, when he was cut and headed to Seattle. I�m certainly not a Message Board Franco, but this site, I believe is now left in the bereft hands of the Moderator equivalents of Walter Abercrombie, Greg Hawthorne Rich Erenberg, and Frank Pollard. Your Message Boards are now managed by the Four Horseman of the Stillers.com Apocalypse�Humorless, Anal, Tyrannical, and Imbecilic. The site that I first frequented after it was referenced by Chuck Finder in the Post-Gazette in 1998 is not the place it once was. Now, there are moderators run amok, actively deleting threads precipitously, adding language to posts that was never intended by respective writers, suspending accounts on whims, accountable to no one. It�s permissible on this site to call certain posters any name imaginable, to wish illness and death on them, yet others have a protected status, and one certainly mustn�t bash the moderators. This insufferable m�nage a� trios, plus one now, have become �bigger than the game itself,� the CJ�s and TO�s of the message boards. There�s much discussion in sports these days of loyalty. Players long for free agency so that they, like Chad Brown, can ditch the city where they�ve built their skill and reputation in order to go west and make more money while enjoying better sushi. Owners, likewise, cut with impunity, veteran players who have been cornerstones of their franchise. Sadly, I�ve learned this �loyalty� lesson myself. When this site split last year, and much of the populace queud up to make the journey �across the street,� I stayed behind, wrote about it, wouldn�t glance that way. When this site couldn�t make good on a promise to run an ad for InkedSports, an outfit that donated �authentic� autographed Steelers pictures for trivia prizes, I continued to have discussions with the donor, always having the back of this site, and its owner. That loyalty though, has not been returned in this instance�sold down the proverbial river for a handful of very, very, very cheap trinkets, suspended in response to the outcry of said Four Horsemen. At the onset of my incarceration, I managed to elude the moderators, my captors, these dullardly sentries, and issued this statement, posted on the Stillers.com Message Board on Saturday, November 24th. Serving my suspension from Stillers.com, I write to you, through a faithful intermediary to whom I�ve smuggled this letter, from Stillers.com Elba, where I walk the beaches alone �.from incarceration in Stillers.com Landau Prison�moving about the solitary corridors, under the watchful eye of my jailers and antagonists, ...this esteemed site�s Alvin, Simon & Theodore...its Athos, Porthos & Aramis...certainly its Hitler, Stalin & Mussolini.. I�ve already erred in comparing the troika of Blitz, Perch & Hammer to the Three Stooges, but Moe, Larry & Curly, three fine & funny fellows, deserve so much more than a comparison to this triumvirate of humorless droids. My transgression, you see was to �bash� the moderators; there can be no greater crime on this site. The vilest of language, the most insensitive of name-calling pales in comparison to the mortal sin of a critique of those that police the message board. For that, justice is harsh & swift, banishment to Stillers.com Purgatory. Several weeks ago, Hammer (aka �He Who Shall Not Be Named� in recent writings) threatened to sue me, and to subpoena the hard drive of stillers.com, thus shutting down the site, due to my likening him to a Nazi, and for calling him �Herr Goehring.� He�d been viciously slandered and libeled, he suggested. Hammer raised this spectre again last night, resulting in my sentence. The catalyst this time? Why, it was my whimsical piece on �Staff Thanksgiving at Stillers.com�  HYPERLINK "http://forums.stillers.com/forums/default.aspx?g=posts&t=3474" http://forums.stillers.com/forums/default.aspx?g=posts&t=3474, where I poked fun at all Stillers.com staffers, including myself (sorry again, Trap, for my oversight in not including you). This obviously fictional essay created a tempest in house, however, with my staff colleagues calling for my head, and this time, management has turned me out to the venomous cries of this thin-skinned trio of crybabies. Like so many of you, my �issues� with moderators began last summer with the current bunch, who have now twice accused me, with nary a shred of evidence, of inventing characters for the purpose of spamming the board. Beauty School Dropout was admittedly my creation�.dreamed up for a specific purpose, not having surfaced for weeks. There have been no others. So, on this Thanksgiving weekend, the site on which I�ve posted for 9 years, written articles for 3, and never ventured across the street when last year�s split occurred, has chosen to place me in solitary confinement. When the suspension�s lifted, I�ll likely be on this site�s version of a predator�s list�..needing to register my whereabouts in the neighborhood where I choose to settle. Some will undoubtedly cheer this development�..to the others, Hasta Luego. Very Best, Swissvale72 As I ponder my closing up shop at Stillers.com, certain themes circulate: The Mods Trouble was on the horizon when I found myself parachuted into the midst of Staff Forum, a Skull & Bones, circle-jerk interchange for Staff only. Hammer�message board posters have wondered aloud whether Hammer did, in fact, threaten to sue me and �shut down� the site. This certainly did happen. I�ve absorbed a tactic from this site�s Internal Affairs Department, and have accrued evidence, which I�ll enter as Exhibits A, B, AA�.Thing 1, Thing 2, should it become necessary. Several weeks ago, Hammer had suspended a poster, StillerinFresno, for having the audacity, the unmitigated gall, to question a decision that he�d made in locking a thread. When likened to a Nazi, Hammer immediately maintained that he had been slandered & libeled, and suggested that he would subpoena the hard drive of Stillers.com, thereby, in his estimation, shutting down the site for a substantial period. Hammer has since, on Skull & Bones, called me a �fucking idiot.� Perhaps it�s I that should sue. I believe the standard is that the statement must in fact be slanderous, so the onus would be on me to prove that I�m not a �fucking idiot.� Hmmm�not sure if I could do that. But, in Hammer�s case, how has he been damaged. A screenname? Would it be TheSteelHammer (plaintiff) versus Swissvale72, et al (defendants)? Could it be just me? Check out this recent entry from the Message Board. http://forums.stillers.com/forums/default.aspx?g=posts&t=3597 Perch�wrote a lengthy and rambling diatribe on the message board on the night of my suspension, singing his own praises and portraying me as someone rather ornery and hard to get along with. He could subpoena Mrs. Swiss, who would certainly concur with his assessment of me (Spousal Immunity? I think she�d waive it) But what about Perch? A few days PS (Pre-Suspension), in Skull & Bones, he twice called me a �cunt� and then wished a broken hip on me, citing my age and supposed fragility, and wished me a �slow death� on Thanksgiving. I have admittedly dissed Perch�s draft stuff. For all I know, honestly, Perch might know as much about the draft as Mel Kiper, Jr... He might even sport a pompadour. I have no freakin� (I�ve been asked to curb my language) idea if his draft stuff is any good. I do know that all three of the Little Pigs (prior to CK having been immersed in the Moderator Baptismal Font) have referred to my writing as �drivel.� I don�t much care�you know the old adage, �no such thing as bad publicity.� Blitz�Idi Admin, the self-appointed King Mod. Oafish in appearance and personality. He�s given to conflicts with posters, locking threads, moving threads that criticize him, etc. Many of the Stillers.com Peasantry has been subject to his impetuousness, his �Let Them Eat Cake,� retorts. His latest act has been to insert language into another poster�s thread in an effort to entrap me, in the erroneous belief that said poster, Area51, was indeed me. Wrong again, Blitzie!! Check out the 18th post in this thread�..the language attributed to Area51, re: Swissvale72, was admittedly inserted by Blitz. This time, he took on the role of Stillers.com State Police, attempting to entrap me, expose me as Area51, yet another alias.  HYPERLINK "http://forums.stillers.com/forums/default.aspx?g=posts&t=3916" http://forums.stillers.com/forums/default.aspx?g=posts&t=3916 You see, that promotion that Blitz doesn�t seem able to procure in real life, no limit to his Rise to Power on Stillers.com, no ceiling on how far dimwits can ascent on this site. Yet, he says he�s �all about fairness.� Please, Blitz�.ROTFLMAO. Nine years, I had no trouble with any Mod until Blitz surfaced in this role last summer. Blitz is out of control, and in the words of my friend, SteelerTillIDie, knows �ass about football.� Speaking of ass, Blitz did excel at posting pics of Amanda Lexx�s ass on the message board. Once the task moved beyond pictures though, into words, Blitz�s ass was sunk. CK�well, you�re all too familiar with the Prophet�s act as a writer�not his writing so much, but his response to those that question his aptitude. Always seems like he ate something he didn�t like, CK previously avoided misuse of power, but left to the ceaseless grooming of the Terrible Troika, when I was �on sabbatical,� CK now suspends with the best of them, for no other reason, as coined by Bruce Springsteen, in �Growin� Up,� ��for bein��.just for bein�.� Abuse of power runs rampant amidst these Quackenbush Quadruplets, adherants of Mao Tse Tung�s Cultural Revolution, creators of Animal Farm, right here at Stillers.com. All four are dismissive of posters, while encouraging complainants to PM a mod. Right!! Fox�meet HenHouse. It�s long been acknowledged that �bash� a Mod, you�re liable to be suspended. Fres?? Mods, however, can bash you as often and with as much gusto as they like. And then, suspensions are administered that eclipse hours and days, running instead for years. Check out Exhibit LL, below. Why, on that now infamous night, the Saturday Night Massacre, Perch initiated the practice of Drive-By suspensions�.zapping posters that weren�t even posting. �What are you doing on the Board at this hour, Son�ZAP.� No rhyme or reason, no sense of proportionality. Suspended Your account has been temporarily suspended. This suspension is due to end on Tuesday, April 08, 2251 1:18:18 PM.  Lastly, this delusional Barbershop Quartet, practitioners of douchebaggery, are convinced that it�s me that spasm the boards�do they not forget who they�re talking about?? Never posted a pic on this site, folks�don�t know how. Leaky pipes?? I attack with tape & a bucket. One positive about aging, at least in my case, is that one becomes very clear on their own limitations. I have but two skills in life� a. I can write a decent letter b. I can tell other people what to do Me, spamming the boards�.electronic subterfuge?? Please!! Actually, that wasn�t lastly�..this one�s lastly. It�s the Self-Congratulatory bullshit among the Quartet�goes something like this. Blitz: �So many people write to me, tell me I�m doing a helluva job as a mod�.really cleaned up this site. Perch: �So many people write to me, tell me that my draft analysis is top notch. CK: �My prognostications are second to no one. Fuck you if you don�t like it.� Hammer: Not self-congratulatory�.just a jagoff�.anal about moving posts into the appropriate forum, as well as this recording on his voice mail, �Stop telling mods how to be mods.� Isn�t my natural habit�..that�s for sure. The Posters It�s interesting, is it not, that my actions in writing a fluff piece on Staff Thanksgiving merits a week�s suspension, but this site accepts, endorses, even embraces the calling of female posters �cunts� and even more vile, �discharging cunts� and �yeasty cunts.� laughs heartily and copies the practice of wishing cancer on other posters. How does this site �endorse� such a practice, you might ask? Why�the Queer Quads themselves have been known to let fly with the c-word, and also now engage in the retort of �get cancer,� in response to certain posters. They�ve become �Toto� to their hero�s �Dorothy.� Language My suspension is also tied to too many f-bombs on the Main Page. This was never an issue until lately. I don�t think my writing has been different. I was always foul-mouthed on this site. I can write without using f-bombs though. It�s funny, the demarcation between the Main Page and the Message Board. Can you imagine�.the Main Page crowd, getting lost, going down the one-way street, clicking on the link to Message Boards��on accident.� Why....Main Page Mildred would be aghast!! Article Arnie would be horrified. But�maybe Mildred and Arnie don�t mind the C-word. Curb the f-bombs though. It�s too bad really. Previously, I would meet other Steelers fans; tell them all about this site. Now�.I pause, say to myself, �What the fuck are they gonna think of me if they visit this site. Granted, part of that responsibility is mine�.but it�s not my writing that I worry about them seeing. It�s the vile, bullshit attacks�..it�s the level of meddling among the site�s moderators�it�s the inequitable application of the rules. I may well be persona non grata at Stillers.com once this edition finds its way to the shelves. I achieved that status with Moe, Larry, Curly & Shemp long ago. The actions of ownership though, delivered that message to me quite clearly on the morning of Saturday, November 24th. Remarkably, judging from staff commentary on the message board, there was an assumption that I would serve my suspension, return to the fold, Shut the Fuck Up, and all would be well. All wasn�t well prior to my suspension. All would be well if I kow-towed to the majority. That�s not happening though. Frankly, I can�t abide the inequality of justice on this site. I�ll await word from management on whether it�s time to get on with my life�s work. 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