I
Come Not to Praise Cowher, but to Bury Him
By PalmerSucks
Recently a fan entry called "Et tu, Rooney??" appeared in the Post-Gazette
Stillers Blog. Basically it's a blame piece, with the fault of Bill Cowher's departure
laid at the feet of Artie Rooney. It's filled with intrigue and conspiracy theory, right down
to a reference to the Roman Emperor Commodus.
Somehow, according to that fan, it's not Cowher's fault he left, but
Artie's. You see, Artie was so jealous of the Jaw's great stature, he knew he
had to get rid of him....or live forever in his shadow.
Is this what it's come to? Does
Stiller Nation actually believe the responsibility for Bill Cowher's exit rests
anywhere but with Bill Cowher?
Here's how much that evil Artie wanted Bill Cowher to go: he offered him
a contract extension that would have paid Cowher between $6 million and $6.5
million annually (see: http://www.postgazette.com/pg/07005/751454-66.stm).
In case you hadn't heard, Bill turned him down.
Even to the end, Artie was quoted as saying -- publicly and on record
-- the whole thing was still Bill's
decision and that, if anything, he wanted Bill around for multiple years. As in "extension,"
not just to finish the last year of his deal.
But rather than fulfill his contractual obligation to coach the Stillers,
Bill Cowher chose to quit. Again, that's Bill Cowher doing the
walking.
What followed was the greatest amount of damage control since the
Johnstown Flood. Bill Cowher stood up and explained that he was leaving because,
well, he misses his family. And that being away from them even one more year was
too much to bear.
All together now: 1, 2, 3, awwwww.
See, people, Bill didn't leave because he's sick of coaching the Stillers .....he left because he loves his family!
He then went on to top the sundae with the cherry-quote: "Hey, I'm one of
Yinz". Really, Bill? Then how come you're moving to North
Carolina
Hey, it's a free country, and a man's free to live wherever. But if
you're going to play the Yinzer Card expect to get called on it.
Unlike many Pittsburghers who've left the city out of economic necessity,
Bill Cowher has the cash to live wherever he chooses. And he chooses to live in the Carolinas .
Y'all come back and visit sometime, heah?
So rather than roast Cowher for running out, a boatload of Black and
Golders have chosen to toast him.
They've totally bought into his story, accompanied as usual by the Whatever-You-Say-Coach! Pittsburgh
Frankly I haven't seen this much closed-eyed swallowing since the last
Aurora Snow film festival.
One thing I found interesting about the whole farewell shebang, strangely
enough not picked up on in a single media article: for a guy so full of emotion
as Bill Cowher, he sure showed little. This is Bill Cowher, a man known for
shedding tears like raindrops in a hurricane. But as far as I could tell, his
eyes were dry as a Cleveland Super Bowl spell.
For Cow's sake, Chuck Noll
showed more emotion at his goodbye press conference.
No, the reason for Bill Cowher?s departure likely had as much to do with
his ego as it did his wife and daughters. This wasn't the first time Cowher had
threatened to walk if he didn't get what he wanted. The host of this site
mentioned how Cowher once used the new Browns franchise as leverage; i.e.
suggesting he'd leave to coach Browns II before they even existed.
Back then, there was only Dan Rooney running things. But now there's
another boss to deal with, and that just doesn't cut it with Carolina
Cawhr.
The fact is, Artie Rooney isn't as in love with Bill Cowher as Dan
clearly is. Who knows how good or bad their relationship is, and in a way it
doesn't matter. What does is that Bill Cowher knows he's no longer going to get
the same kind of favored treatment he received with Daddy Dan. (Like say, when
Daddy gave Billy his big present, the head of Tom Donahoe on a
stick.)
Remember that little Super Bowl ultimatum? You can bet
Bill did, especially as he was handing over the Lombardi to Dan. (Symbolically,
Artie would hand Bill his own mini-Lombardi at the end, perhaps to suggest the
size of his contribution to winning it.)
No, Bill Cowher's leaving was basically a temper tantrum, thrown like the
little boy who takes his ball and storms off the playground. Because the game
isn't being played his way
anymore.
Bill's taking his ball and moving it to Raleigh Miami , San
Diego , maybe even Cleveland
Trust me, the future looks bright for Bill Cowher. And he's not too sad
to be leaving.
The question is, why should we be?
(PalmerSucks occasionally hangs
out at the Stillers.com messageboard.)