Stillers 28, Texans 21 .... Sep 27, 2020 …………Game # 3
Stillers-Texans Postgame Analysis and Grades
The Stillers hosted the 0-2 Texans, although those 2 losses were against the big dawgs of the AFC, KC and Balt. Meanwhile, the Stillers had played JV competition in tilts versus the NYG and the Doncos. The Stillers scored a TD late in the 1H to presumably take a 17-14 lead into the locker room, but sure as shit, Keith Assler’s Softee Defense promptly allowed HOU to march 75 yards in only 50 seconds to take the lead with 24 secs left in the half. The Stiller O dominated TOP in the 2H, chewing up 12 minutes of clock in the final quarter, and a 12-yard TD run by Conner provided the winning points.
QB: Ben had a solid game, minimizing foolish mistakes while going 23 of 36. His deep balls were disturbingly ALL well overthrown, each one landing a good 12-15 feet ahead of his receiver on the 5 stabs he took deep. Overthrew an open Wash on a deep ball in the EZ, early 3Q. Shitty pass, as oft happens with Ben on the deep ball. Even the deep lob to Chase on 4th & 1 in the 3Q was a hideous, off-target pass, which only a foolish play by the DB enabled a DPI flag to occur.
Good cut block by Ben on the reverse, 2Q. Stupid fuk int. grounding pass by Ben from the HOU HALF yard line, making it 3d & 10 in the 2Q. Just a bonehead mistake for a veteran QB, although, I will say, we’ve all seen throwaways near the goal line end up 14 rows into the EZ bleachers without an IG flag being thrown. Redeemed himself next play with a TD lob to Ebron. Good read under pressure to hit a wide open Ju for a TD, late 2Q. Ben also completed some clutch passes to keep drives alive in the 2H. A-
Conner – had one of his better games, rushing 18 times for 109 yards, including some hard-nosed running in the 2H and a 12-yard TD run that won the game. Amazingly, did not get injured. He was ridiculed by the announcer for a dropped pass around the HOU 8 yard line, but this was a high, sailing ball that was an extremely difficult grab. A
Samuels – got engulfed on a 3d & short, 1H. Despite being a pass-catching RB, he wasn’t included at’all in the passing game. Inc.
Snell – dropped a pass, 2Q. But then a few plays later, good power run on 3d & 1 by Smell to move the chains. Superb power run on 3d & 1, 4Q, to move the chains. Those kind of power runs on 3d & 1 are what win championships. Well done. B+
McFarland – finally got a chance to play. First carry, 7 yards. Then sat. 2nd carry, 20 yards. Had 6 rushed for 42 yards, and 1 grab for 7. THIS, my friends, is a man who can vastly contribute to this offense. And remember, there is no easier position in pro football for a rookie to excel, than RB. Get…this guy… the fuking ball. A+
FB: Watt had by far his most extensive PT of the year. Then, had to bow out with a hamstring injury in the 2Q. Inc
JuJu – helluva an effort, 1st series, to spin, lunge, and dive for a 1D on 3rd & 10. This was on the initial 3rd down of the game, and had Schuster not given the 2nd effort here, the Stillers punt the ball away. It will be forgotten by the casial fan, but this was one of THE major plays of the game. The offense went on to run 8 more snaps, getting Ebron and Vance involved and getting Conner the rock. Without this made-1st down, none of the happens, nor does the team pick up 3 points on the FG. Good grab to convert the 2-pointer, 4Q. Had 4 grabs for 43, including the wide-open crosser that scored a 26-yard TD. A
Wash - good sideline grab, late 2Q, to move the chains. Good grab despite blanketed coverage, early 3Q. Dropped a short crosser later in drive. Had a clutch grab on 4th & 1, late in the game, that helped seal the win. Had 5 grabs for 36 yards on a day when Dionte missed the 2H. B+
Dionte - suffered a head injury, mid 2Q, on the 9-yard reverse run. The sad thing is, the DAYLIGHT was to the outside once he got past the LOS, yet Dionte stupidly cut it INSIDE and then ran INTO a tackler, thus causing the concussion. If he takes it outside, he probably gets more yardage, and doesn’t end up head-butting a defender. He then sat out the 2H. Inc.
Claypool – drew a DPI flag on 4th & inches, 3Q. Dropped a pass, late 3Q. Then semi-dropped ANOTHER pass on the very next play, as his 1 arm was being GRABBED by the DB. He nearly went from hero to near-goat by allowing a midget DB to POKE the ball out of his FAR hand on the late RAC that sealed the win. Had the ball gone out in the EZ, it's HOU ball on the 20, all in a remake of the grisly, infamous Xavier Grimble fumble near the goal line versus Denver 2 years ago. For fuk's sake, hang onto the fuking fooball. This play really drags down his grade. C
McDonald - plowed over a DB after a key 3D grab, mid 4Q. Was highly effective on the TE counter running play, which the Stillers seemed to run about 9 times in the 2H. Mac continually was opening huge holes for Conner on these plays. Had 3 grabs for 35. A
Ebron – drop, first series. Stellar TD grab, 2Q in the back corner of the EZ. Had 5 grabs for 52. You’ll note today how the Stillers finally FLEXED this man out WIDE on most of his plays, creating huge mismatches against what was usually a 5-10” DB who weighed perhaps 190 lbs. This was almost unfair, as Ebron simply had his way with his size and athleticism. Wear this guy out in this manner. A
OL: Overall, the line had a solid day, keeping Ben mostly clean and opening up some nice holes in the ground game. Pukes Okorfor stymied JJ Watt the entire game. Feiler – abused for a sack, 3Q. Just ABUSED and humiliated. He did have a good pull and block on the Conner TD run, 4Q. David DeAsstro finally retruned to the lineup and had a solid game. Pouncey allowed the one sack, when he failed to remain engaged with the NOSE TACKLE, who simply veered 2 feet to his right and then zoomed right to the QB for an easy sack. B
Heyward – The $65M Man had an ultra quiet 1H, doing next to nothing. He actually picked it up a bit in the 2H, making tackles on successive plays. Still, making all of 2 solos in a game hardly warrants the fatty contract he received. B-
Tuitt – another vaunted DE who was mouse-quiet in the 1H. He too picked it up a bit in the @H, and even got a sack of Watson. Lotta money for so little, but I reckon ya gotta milk out of him what ya can before he suffers his annual injury. B
Alu – solid, stout game. Dude is a player. B
Vinnie – sack, 2d series. Thumping solo for a loss, late 1Q !!! He fought off the block (unlike pad-jousters like Crud Dupree) and delivered the blow to the RB for a 2-yard loss!! This, my friends, is smashmouth football. He was beaten by Cooks for what would have been a TD, but the pass was overthrown. Bear in mind, of course, that an ILB should never, ever be on a dangerous WR like Cooks. B+
Bush – Gave up a 17-yard completion to the TE, 1Q. Later on, actually raked the ball out of the TEs hands in the EZ, negating a TD. It’s amazing what a defender can do when he’s not being beaten by 17 feet on a pass pattern, unlike last week. Had 2 solos and 2 As. Needs to provide more impact. B-
Watt – buried Cooks on a jet sweep, early 4Q. Huge sack, 6:00 4Q ! THAT IS A STUD making this play, as he fought thru the block and then grasped the elusive Watson. This is the difference between a real OLB and the fraud playing opposite him. Had 4 solos and wins the “Watt o’ the Game” award. A
Crud Dupree – Crud DuPree - had a FLAILING WHIFF on an easy 3rd down sack attempt, allowing HOU to convert. The next play, instead of settling for a FG, HOU scored a TD to go up 14-3. Then got half a DONG sack on a play where he did jack fuking shoit, as it was Bush who made the sack happen with pressure and a grab of the scrambling QB. Got a slop solo when Watson got flushed, last play of 3Q, and was swarmed by 3 tacklers. It was no gain, but in the insanity of the NFL stat rules, this was ruled a “sack”, which merely equates to another DONG Sack for Crud. He did absolutely fuking NOTHING on the play, and the QB was swarmed by 3 defenders. And the play lost ZERO yards. Another stat-padding by Crud "The Donger" DuPree. Note that these 2 plays were his ONLY “tackles” of the game. He was SOLO blocked throughout the game, and did jack shit nothing, at all. He never once pressured or harassed the QB, and did nothing to stop running plays. C-
Odeniyi – saw some PT and played ok. He’ll make a fine replacement for Crud at like 4% of the salary cap hit.
Lowsmith – Alex Lowsmith.....clumsily got SUCKED INSIDE for the cakewalk TD by HOU to make the score 13-3. Thank you Alex, you worthless piss-ass. Had a good solo on a running play, late 3Q.
Haden – Very quiet today, which is a good thing. Had 2 solos. B
Nelson – got tooled and abused on TD pass in EZ, late 2Q. Very shoddy. He’s starting to get picked up and abused with increasing regularity.
Hilton – All this dude does is fuking make plays. Good solo on bubble screen, 2d series. Huge INT, early 4Q. Led the team with EIGHT solos in a stellar, Hard Hat effort. Very well done. A+
Edmunds – For some off reason, HOU chose to not pick on Eddie, despite what the last 10 opponents (dating back to last year) did with easy success.
Minkah - He did have 5 solos, but I’m not seeing much, if any, ballhawking out of this fellow. I’m seeing too much Ryan Clark and too little NFL-caliber FS. B-
Sutton – good, tight coverage, 1st series on 3D, which forced a punt.
Colquitt – punted 4 times for a solid 44 yard average. Not bad. B
Boswell – 2 for 2 on shorty FGs.
Dionte – Dionte.....what a dumbass,......he FC's a punt on his own 5, 1st Qtr. Exactly what in the fuk do they practice in practice ?? This is very simple as a punt returner – you stand at the 10, and any punt that forces you to back up more than 1 foot should be VACATED, with the likelihood it’ll go into the EZ.
RaeRae – solid PR, late 2Q. Good KO return, opening boot of the 2H. Good 12-yard PR in the 3Q. This fellow is showing his worth on the roster. B+
Marc Allen had a good solo tackle on the 2s KO.
Chase Carpool – solo on punt cover, late 1Q. Nice work.
OC: Randy Sphincter had an okay day. He offense managed to chew gobs of clock during the day, with PIT having a TOP of 37 minutes to 23 by HOU. I fuking despised the 3d & 1.5 yards, 1st series…..they used Samuels on a Whaleshit Counter, which took hours to develop and was easily engulfed well short of the first down Wasted TO, late 1Q. Back to back deep balls, each woefully inc, late 1Q. WTF is this, Darryl Lamonica and The Raida offense reincarnated ?? This all seemed to be a grab-bag ploy by the OC.
3d & inches, early 3Q – no QB sneak, of course. McFarl, the midget RB, gets engulfed, all the while with Snell and Conner sitting the pine. Luckily, they converted on the next play. It was nice to see Ebron flexed, and utilized, although we have no idea why it took 3 games to exploit this mismatch. B+
Keith Assler finally faced a competent NFL QB after 2 games of feasting on the grossly inept.
Vinnie W. on Brandin Cooks in downfield coverage.....brilliant scheme by Keither Assler. 2d & 12, early 2Q, and HOU easily hits Dave Johnson for like 15 yards. 3 plays later, 3d & 6, ALL day, easy pitch and catch for 20. Then HOU converted a 3d & 9 to set up 1st & goal, which they scored a walk-iin TD to go up 14-3.
What really enraged me to a full boil was late in the 1H. Keith Assler was handed a lead, with all kinds of momentum, late in the 2Q. HOU takes over on its own 25, with only 74 seconds left in the half. Sure as shit, Assler goes into soft cooked-marshmallow mode, with his Softee Defense. 7 yard pass. 18 yard pass. 20 yard pass. 15 yard pass. Before ya know it, the Texans are at the 14, with eons of time (24 seconds left on the clock.) And on the next play, a cake-easy TD pass to Fuller. HOU marched 75 yards for a TD in the final minute of the half. 5 plays, 75 yards…with EVERY play gaining large chunks of yardage. Fuk you, Assler, you worthless fuk. His vaunted D allowed five 20+ yard plays in 1H, an unacceptable number. And, of course, 3 TDs...along on fairly long marches.
2d & 11 from the 14, late 3Q – easy 12 yard gainer. 3d & 10, early 4Q….HUGE gainer, 34 yards. Nearly every time Assler had the massive advantage of down and distance, he managed to poop the bed.
You’ll hear a lot of crowing and blather about how Buttler “shut down the Texans in the 2H”. What tripe. He didn’t shut down shit. What bottled the HOU offense in the 2H was that they were sitting on their OWN BENCH for most of the half, courtesy of the Stiller offense chewing up large chunks of clock. The PIT TD drive to go up 28-21, ate up 7:03. The prior drive at up over 4 minutes. In the 4Q, the Stiller offense chew up 12 minutes of clock. The offense bailed out his sorry ass by chewing a shit-ton of CLOCK in the 2H. Total plays in game, PIT 76 to 47. The easiest method to play defense is to not be on the field at all, which is the luxury Assler enjoyed in the 2H. TOP, PIT 37 minutes to 23 for HOU. Had Chase Carpool’s fumble gone OOB in the EZ, HOU would have taken over on its 20, with 2:12 left on the clock. Who here thinks this Softee Defense would have prevented HOU from casually marching the length of the field for the tying TD? C-
HC: Mike Asslin will be all proud over this win. It was an adequate win, but nothing to start planning Sup Bowl parades. The defense has all sorts of gaudy slop stats, but fact is, they’re not playing championship caliber defense, not by a long shot. You can see KC and Balt running up huuuge points against this D, and even the Browns, with all their weapons, could easily hang 30 or 35 points on this over-rated D. B+
Synopsis: A solid win over an adequate foe, unlike the first 2 games that were against the junior varsity. Next up, the Titans. With the team 3-0, you can, and should, foresee pompous overconfidence start to creep in, which will translate into a rude whipping at the hands of the Titans next week.
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