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Stillers-Jets Postgame Analysis and Grades

October 09, 2016 by Still Mill

 Stillers 31, Jest 13 ……. Oct 9, 2016…………Game # 5


Stillers- Jets Postgame Analysis and Grades


The Stillers (3-1) hosted the hapless 1-3 Jest.    True to their nature, the Stillers spent nearly the entire 1H playing grab-ass with the lowly Jest, actually falling behind late in the half.   Ben led a late 2Q TD march, and the Stillers clawed their way thru an uninspiring 3Q in which they netted just 3 points.   An AB TD grab in the 4Q finally boosted the lead to some breathing room.  





Near INT on poor screen pass, early 2Q.   Shoddy deep pass to the EZ, mid 2Q.   

Should have been picked off, easy 3Q, but the Jets DB dropped the easy INT.    Clutch snap-pass to AB for the TD, early 4Q.  

Held the ball forever, 4Q, and then allowed the ball to get popped out, which was then nabbed by a Jet D-lineman.  This occurred with the LOS on the NY 14-yard line, which was a monstrous turnover in an 11-point game.   This was a greedy play by Ben, who simply cannot get stripped like this in the 4Q of a fairly tight ballgame.     Ben overall had a solid game, and of course was victimized by Skillet Coates.     B 



Bell - solid day, rushing for 66 yards on 20 carries, and gaining 88 yards on 9 grabs.  Showed some spending acceleration and moves.    Basically flawless catching the ball.     A


DeAngelo – With Bell playing in his 2nd game back, DW resumed the role of bench rotter, touching the ball ONCE in a game in which the offense snapped the ball over 65 times.   He had a few token plays in which Bell was split wide. 


Toussaint - no action.



Brownie – snared a clutch TD, first play of the 4Q.    Amazingly, he didn’t foolishly twerk n’ jerk as he has in recent weeks.   Excellent pluck of a slant, 11:30 4Q.   Had 9 grabs for 78.     B


Pinkie Wheaton –  Mister Sofftee had a couple of grabs in the 2H.  Stunned he didn’t get injured.     B- 


Coates - took a deep ball to the house, first series, for a 72 yard TD.     Failed to haul in a 3d & 2 lob, in which his arms literally formed a HOOP and foolishly allowed the ball to go thru his self-formed hoop.    Very poor, and shoddy.   Had a chance at a pass in the EZ, but stupidly SLOWED down, and by the time he accelerated, the ball glanced off his fingers.    He partially atoned for it the next play with a superb RAC that set up the offense at the NY 3 yard line.   2 plays later, he dropped a CAKE EASY, WIDE OPEN pass at the GL for what would have been a simple TD.   Lucky for him, James snared a TD pass on the next play.     Blatantly pushed off and had a fairly routine TD grab, 3Q, but clumsily dropped the pass.   He sucks ass.   Dropped yet ANOTHER pass on a low, but entirely catchable, pass at 9:00 3Q.   This was his FIFTH drop of the day.   

Alas, the stone-handed receiver hauled in a pass late in the 3Q.   Surprisingly grabbed another pass, 5:30 4Q, and another about 50 secs later.   Then, on a 3d & 5 from the NY 5 at 1:51 4Q, Skillet-Hands Coates snared the game-sealing TD pass.   The 5 drops completely enraged me.    C+


Rogers - did not dress


Heyward-Gay – little or no action.



Jesse James - dropped easy curl pass, 2d series.   Got his jock rocked along the sidelines after a grab, 2Q.   Grabbed a deep crosser, late 3Q, and took a big hit but held on.   Had 6 grabs for 43.    B


Grimble - grabbed an out pass, late 2Q.   Had 2 grabs for 13.   Would like to see him getting more PT. 


OL:  Overall, the run blocking was pretty sorry in the 1H, but picked up in the 2H.  The pass pro was excellent all game long. 


Villeneueva -  flagged for a hold on a RUNNING play , 2nd series, which enraged me.   Blocked ok.


Gilbert -  FatAss Marcus did not dress, due to injury.   


Hubbard - got 1st NFL start, at RT.   Acquitted himself quite well.  Who needs an overpaid FatAss Marcus, when Hubbard can play adequately enough….?    J        A


Foster –  returned to the lineup and had a solid game. 


Pouncey - decent game.   There were some struggles in running the ball up the gut.  


DeCastro –  Wasn’t shoved around like he was a couple weeks ago.



Hargrave - good stop of plunge, 2d series.    Stuffed Forte for no gain, late 2Q.    Hopefully is coming on.  


McCullers - played little, if at all. 


Heyward – limped to the locker room, mid 2Q.   Did not return.     


Tuitt – Had a shot at a cake-easy sack, 3Q, but meekly whiffed like a complete jackass.    2 solos and 1 A isn’t quite enough.       C+ 


Dicardo Matthews - saw some PT; did little.



Timmons – quiet game, with just 3 solos.      C


Shaquier – Yancey did not dress, once again.  


Moats - Had a Dong pressure, 1H, in which he was completely unblocked.    Doltbert will see this on film and rush out with a $45M offer.    Finished with 0 solos and 2 As.      C


Harrison – very meager impact.   1 solo and 1 A.      C


Jones –  batted a short  pass, 3Q, which bounced way high in the air, but no one was close enough to pick it off.   On the very next play, a 3d& 1, he astutely read the shovel pass and made the stick to force a punt.   Punished the QB with an attacking hit late in the game.    Probably his best contributions in 2 years.     B


Chickillo - attacked the QB and stripped the ball, early 2Q.  Completely blew up a ground play, early 4Q.   Had 3 solos.    With Moats and Harrison doing so little, would like to see him get more PT.      B+


Vinnie W. - helped stop Forte on a 2d & 1 plunge, last play of 1Q.   Blew up a Forte ground play, late 2Q.   Good stick on Forte on a widish run, 5:00 3Q.   Had 8 solos.  Has filled in surprisingly well for Yancey Shazier.     A-


Dupree – did not dress




Golden  – did not dress, due to the lingering injury. 


Mitchell – Tooled by Marshall, 3d & 8, 2nd series, for easy 1st down conversion.   Good tackle of Marshall, mid 3Q.   Stupidly laid a hit on Marshall after a low, poor pass was incomplete at 7:36 4Q.    70% of the time in today’s NFL, this would have been called a personal foul, hit on a defenseless receiver.    Continues to be nowhere near an aerial football.     B-


Gay  -  was pretty quiet, altho the Jest chose to not pick on him much.  


Cockrell - flagged for PI, 1st series.   Busted up a poor pass, later in that series.    Called for a hold, late 2Q.   Got tooled by Marshall on the RAC a few plays later.   ON the very next play, was in PERFECT position for a CAKE EASY INT in the EZ, but lazily got out-jousted by Marshall for the TD.   As lazy and shitty a play as a CB can make in the NFL.     C 


Dangerfield - got his 2nd NFL start.   Wasn’t tooled too badly.   Seems willing to hit.     B


Burns - Was very active and is at least showing some signs of better tackling.    


Davis - Also active, with 4 solos and 2 As.      Have to believe a guy with his talent will really be playing optimal football come Dec, with all the PT he’s getting early on.     B+


Justin Gilbert - did not dress, due to injury.  


Sharko Thomas – not permitted to play on D.   Also got nicked up and did not return.  


Spec teams:  

Jordan Berry – punted 3 times and had a solid day.   Got chased down on the fake FG.  Of course, he’s not on the roster for his footspeed and ball-toting ability.    A


Boswell – Booted a clutch 47-yard FG, 3Q, in what was a very tight game.   Good KO’s.     A


AB – electric punt return, 3Q, for 33 yards, although he got nabbed, no thanks to Dangerfield, who got shot aside by the tackler on his weak-assed block. 


The Stillers tried a fake FG, mid 2Q, which Berry was stopped short of the sticks.  As it was, Villa was lined up illegally and the flag was thrown.     The coverage teams didn’t have much work but did well.  



3d & 15, 2nd series, and Haley calls a faggot-fuk draw play to Bell that got engulfed.   You have a future HoF QB, with Stonehands Coates, AB, James, and Bell in the passing game……and Haley is calling chickenshit draw plays.

I’m getting enraged over the bench rotting of Deangelo, which is precisely what occurred last season after Bell returned from suspension.   Yes, Bell is superior.  However, he’s taking a ton of SHOTS, and he’s just a twisted knee away from, once again, being shelved for the season and MISSING THE PLAYOFFS.     Getting DW just ONE touch is complete bullshit.    C- 



Keith Assler had the luxury of facing a woeful, sorry offense that was missing Decker, the other Marshall, and then Mangold (mid game).  

He promptly allowed a long, cake-easy opening drive march, which NY cashed in for a FG. 

3d & 8, 2nd series, easy pitch n catch to Marshall.   There was a follow-on 3d & 9, 3 plays later, in which Marshall was WIDE open on a crosser, but dropped a well thrown pass.  

No Decker, no Manggold........and yet Keith Assler is helpless to stop the Jest in the 3Q.   The Jest faced a 3d & 11, late 3Q, but Marshall dropped a pass that would have moved the chains.  

You factor in the numerous drops and the ineptitude of Ryan Fitzhue, and Assler had a supremely fortuitous day.    Furthermore, Fitzhue had thrown NINE INTs the past 2 weeks, and of course threw none today.   5 games into the season, and this secondary hasn’t INTd a single pass.   C+



HC:  Mike Dumblin had his team lukewarm and hardly fired up.   They played grab-ass the entire 1H, and at the end of 3, were up by a mere 4 points.   This had all the look and feel of the classic Stoogelin egg lay, which we’ve all seen at least 26 times by now during Dumblin’s tenure.   Luckily, the Jest were inept enough to make things fairly easy in the 4Q, although the Stillers still were clawing and struggling until the late Coates TD.  


I despised the fake FG.   In that spot, needing only 2 yards, I would just as soon take my chances with Ben, AB, Bell, and James, rather than a punter trying to outrace a DB to the sticks.   Laundry Jones wasn’t at QB; Ben was.   


During this game, we discovered that Stoogelin has met his intellectual match, in the form of Jest coach Todd Bowles.   I generally thought Bowles did ok last year, and was going to be a good HC.   Bowles proved today to be as inept and clueless as Stoogelin himself --  


  - red-flag challenge/review of clear 4th and inches was idiotic


  - punt with 7:30 left was beyond idiotic


  - late in the 4Q, he used a TO with clock already stopped


Not just a deer in headlights look; but a deer that got run over by a semi-trailer look.  


Synopsis:  A grinding home win over a lowly opponent.   Of course, next week is the classic trap game, on the road against a bumbling Dolphins team that got whipped by Tenn.    With a game on Oct 23 against Brady and the Pats, you can just envision Stoogelin and his merry crew venturing down to Florida next weekend, all haughty and mighty, and then pissing away a game against a feeble 1-4 Miami club.    



(Still Mill and -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)

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