Epilogue: Steeler Sunday Wedding

Epilogue:  Steeler Sunday Wedding

�hold your fuckin� peace

By Swissvale72

Writing under cover of darkness again.  I�ve learned, through my colleagues in La Resistance, that  a subpoena�s been issued for my capture, that a number of Stillers.com regulars have been deputized, their responsibility to bring my rogue ass to justice.   Given the current status, I�ve pulled the blinds, the office is illuminated by a solitary candle.  I shall type rapidly, then wrap myself in my Les Miserables duds, vacate the premises.

Please hold me to this, fellow asshats.  Should I ever break a TV in the course of my Steelers viewing, please let it be my own.  Had I been holding one of the dozen or so beer bottles that I downed last night in my hand at the moment that Elam�s kick cleared the crossbar, rather than my Terrible Towel, the TV in the lounge at the Aiport Holiday Inn would have been destroyed.  Rather, it incurred a few harmless lashes with a cut of yellow cloth, and the room was filled with �You Motherfuckers,� time and again during the course of the evening.  

I�ll write this off as an aberration, however, an evening of imbibing and conviviality having fueled me for these outbursts.  My two brothers (TonyV15220 and Ralph) were in the bar with me, both more explosive than I at gametime, both able to purge their respective systems of upset more expeditiously.  Tony�s brother-in-law , Jack, waxed about wishing that he had brothers like us, noting that, �My brother�s upstairs asleep.�  Jack�s brother, uncle of the groom, was also the preacher that performed the ceremony.  He did a decent job, save for mispronouncing the bride�s name throughout the nuptials.  Oh well, no biggie!

Flew into the Burgh on Saturday, then off to Eat�NPark, a new fave of the kids.  Sunday morning, I was watching the pregame.  What the fuck is it with Cowher?  The teeth, I mean??  God may strike me dead for this, but�..my mother�s 87 years old.  A few years back,  she went to a really cheap dentist for her first dentures.  Cowher�s teeth look just like hers!!  Sorry, Ma.  Had to make a mad dash from Ralph�s abode in Murraysville out to St. Luke�s Church, a historic structure, in the South Hills.  Everyone but me forgot their Terrible Towel.  Not me!!  Then it was off to the reception.  The gracious waiter continued to fill our breadbasket through dinner.  I looked at his nameplate, said �Perch.�  My kids congratulated me for having participated in The Electric Slide.  That was news to me.  I found myself on the dance floor, pregame of course, when a shifting, back and forth shuffle broke out.  My only goal was to not step on anyone, lest a wedding guest necessitate a transition from reception to podiatrist.

Then the game, the wee hours, the aftermath, and today the long trip back to New Hampshire.  As my family sat 3 abreast in front of me, I sat in a window seat alone, hoping to avoid the seating of a very ugly, fat lady next to me.  It�s not easy to avoid at times, see them coming but avoid eye contact.  Sure enough, on the Philly-Manchester leg of the trip, a lady of the very ugly & fat variety did sit on the aisle.  I cast a glance that said, �Is there something about me that cast an open invitation for a very, ugly fat lady to sit adjacent to me?� At the last moment, a guy of about my size sat in the middle.  He proceeded, along with said very ugly, fat lady, to not Shut the Fuck Up the whole way to Manchester.  The topic, what else??  Red Sox & Patriots�FUCK.  I was polite enough, then, and this makes me swear by new Ipod, inserted my headphones, and tuned them out for the remainder of the trip.

One last item.  New Hampshire Governor John Lynch boarded this SouthWest flight, no fanfare, took the first open seat, sat the fuck down.  That�s one of the nice things about the Live Free or Die state. It really is rather unpretentious.  You Cali dwellers; can you imagine Arnold Schwarznegger boarding a SouthWest flight to Santa Ana, no fuckin� entourage, no fuss??  Doubt it.  Porkenheimer; ever see Bill Clinton by himself flying into Little Rock.  Not for long, right?  Someone would�ve least been under his seat.  George W. Bush when he was gov of Texas.   Actually, I�ve heard tell he would board flights in Austin, throw a few bags of peanuts to the crowd, practice his speechmaking.

Other game thoughts:

1.  Good thing Ben has a decent Houdini act...yes, sometimes really really bad things happen by him holding the ball so long.  He doesn't do that though, a shitload of his good plays never get made.  This OL sucks, and has suffered for a really long time, even in the '05 SB year.

2.  Taking an objective look....was going to be hard as hell for Steelers to grab a first-round bye.  No way we don't win this division.  We take the #3 or #4 slot, won't make a shitload of difference.....we'll likely need to win at Indy, at NE in the playoff either way.  We win our home Wild Card playoff game, then just hope like hell that, like '05, we're playing our best football when it counts most....Perfect Fuckin' Storm again.

3.  Can't really see it, 'cause this team so far hasn't shown the consistency not to fall on its fuckin' face, but Steelers really should be 10-2 going into New England on 12/9.  Three of the last four games though pose really significant challenges....and....at St. Louie on a Thursday night, while my ass is in the air?  No such thing as a gimme on the road in the NFL.

4.  Funny....Skippy's perfect season gets spoiled by a 65yard attempt. Last season kicking a beer bottle down E. Carson Street at a charity event.

Oboy�.flood lights in the distance, sirens, the bark of K-9s!!  The deputies may be arriving.  Time to run, Asshats.    More from the underworld later.