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Stillers - Clowns Postgame Analysis and Grades

January 03, 2021 by Still Mill


Browns 24, Stillers 22 ……3 Jan 2021 …………Game # 16

Stillers- Clowns Postgame Analysis and Grades

The Stillers mosied up to Cleveland for a meaningless (for them) finale, whereas Clev was in a must-win in order to make the playoffs.  Numerous Stiller starters were scratched, be it for safety reasons or for Covid.   That said, the Stillers acquitted themselves fairly well in this game, clawing back from being down 10-0 and making a game of it.  


QB:   Ben sat this one out.    Mason Rudy got the start.  Jussst overthrew Carpool on a deep flag, early 2Q.  Held the ball far too long, late 2Q, and was sacked. Nice deep lob to Carpool, 3Q, good for 41 yards.  Threw a putrid INT, late 3Q, although the play should have been negated with a penalty on Clev for a TWO-handed hit to the QB’s head after the pass was released.   Nice TD pass to Carpool, and then a superb deep ball to Dionte, late 4Q, to set up the final TD.   He was jobbed in the 2-pointer, as the receiver (Carpool) was blatantly interfered with/held on his slant route.    All in all, Rudy threw for 315 yards, and showed that at this point in time, his downfield passing is far, far superior to Popgun Ben.    The INT hampers what was otherwise a solid day at the office for a QB who has rotted pretty much this entire season.   B  

Dobbs – got some PT.  Nice keeper run of 13, 2Q.  Had a humorous passing stat line — 4 completions for 2 yards….because pretty much every completion was merely a shovel pass.  If this guy can cover kicks, I’d consider dressing him in the playoffs.  


Conner – allowed a short pass, late 2Q, to CLANG off his hands, and was nearly INT’d.   Very shoddy, and poor.   Had a semi-decent day running, with 9 rushes for 36 yards.  Also had 5 grabs for 25.    B

Samuels – Saw little to no PT.  

Snell –   good 6-yard plunge on 3d & 3, late 3Q.  Saved a TD with a tackle of the INT, late 3Q.  However, it was his failed blitz pickup on that very play that forced the hurried pass that was INT’d.  Finished with 3 rushes for 10.   C+

McFarland – nice read and run on 3d & 3, 2Q, gaining 5 when there was little daylight. Had 5 rushes for 17, and of course was never involved in the passing game.    Inc

FB:    Watt saw meager PT at FB.        
JuJu –  clutch grab amid tight coverage, on a key 3rd down late in the 2Q, gaining 26 yards.    Had 6 garbs for 65, to finish the season with 91 grabs.   B+  

Wash -  dropped a well-thrown out-pass, late 1Q.   Was only targeted twice and caught no passes.     B-

Dionte -  stellar grab of deep ball, 2Q.   Big grab of deep ball, late 4Q.    Had only 3 grabs, but for a 32 YPC average.    A.  

Claypool –  .good grab, early 3d & 4 slant.    Nice grab of a deep lob, 3Q, for 41 yards…although he injured a foot on this play.     Brilliant play to haul in a TD grab, mid 4Q.  Was interfered with at least 4 times in the 4th qtr, including on the 2 pointer.    A.

RayRay – Had 2 grabs via shovel passes, for minus-3 yards.    

McDonald – got his RB massacred, 2Q, when he got shoved aside by Vernon, who then destroyed McFarland.  To get reg-dolled like this, by a LB, was fuking sorry-assed football.   Had 5 grabs for 33.     B-

Ebron – sat out due to Covid.   

Rader – dropped a pass, 4Q.   He’s quickly earned a spot on my shit-list.     

OL:  Overall, the line blocked adequately against a very capable Cleve front 4.  As is usual, the team abandoned the running game about 8 minutes into the game.   Rudy was sacked just once, and that was on a play where he held the ball for like 5 seconds.    

Villa got beaten on a 3d down, 2Q, deep in Cleve territory, which caused a throw-away into the dirt by Mason.  Then was flagged for a hold, late 2Q.  His final game as a Stiller will occur within the next 2 weeks.    C-

Okorafor got abused for a sack, late 2Q.   If Feiler is healthy, I’d like to see him at RT next week.  

Assenhour was flagged for being downfield on a blown-up screen pass, late 3Q.  Dotson was flagged for a false start, late 4Q.  

Heyward – The $65M Man sat out this game as an injury precaution.  

Tuitt – the $60M Man should have, given the absence of Heyward, STEPPED UP and led the way.    Instead, he was nowhere to be found the entire 1H.  

Stop the presses....Big Stephonie Tuitt got a solo stop, 2d series !   Of course, it was on a FOUR yard run, which, of course, is losing football.

2Q, 1st & 15, running play, and Big Stephonie Tuitt gets BLOWN OFF THE BALL like a complete pussy.  Got his ass whipped !  13 yard gain on the play......all because a vaunted, $60M DE stood up like a giraffe and got shoved aside like a toddler.  Halftime stats - Stephonie Tuitt, ONE solo, Zero A's.   Rather sad when a D-lineman playing PART time today, Wormley, is making 3 times the impact in the 1H.   
    Stop the presses.....deep into the 4Q, Stephonie Tuitt got a DONG sack, only his SECOND solo of the game.  He was able to nab Faker Gayfield, who was trying to escape from pressure created by OTHER defenders.  
    Big Stephanie finished with a whopping 3 solos, 0 assists in a feeble-fun effort.   Talk ab out an overpaid, over-valued pilot shoit.     D+
Alu – batted a pass, 2Q.  

Mondeaux – got a bit of PT, did little.   

Wormley – big sack, 2Q.   Also applied pressure that helped Highsmith get the sack, late 2Q.  Acquitted himself quite well, and despite laying only PART time, caused more disruption and havoc than Big Stephanie.   Perhaps Worm can leverage this into a $60M deal.     A.

Vinnie – Got blocked out and bullied on the long Chubb TD run, 1Q.  Got nicked up later in the 1H.    Finished with 1 solo.       C-

Watt – sat out.  

Williamson – was totally out of position on some early Chubb runs.   Got abused by Hooper on the 2 yard TD grab, 3Q.  He clearly was assigned to Hooper, and gaffed like a fool.    Compiled a load of slop stops (6 solos), but rarely has any impact whatsoever.    C.  

Marc Allen – got injured (arm), early 3Q.   With any luck, he’ll sit out the playoffs.   

Hi-smith -  sack, late 2Q.   Finished 1H with 4 solos, 2 As.   Blew up a bootleg play, early 3Q, forcing the sack by Elliot.   Finished with a team-leading 9 total tackles, including 6 solos and 3 As.    The last time Crud Dupreee got 9 total tackles in an NFL game was….. NEVER.     A

Elliot – good lick on the RB, 2d & goal, for no gain.    Got bullied on the Landry TD run, first play of 4Q.  Played so-so.      B


Haden – sat out due to Covid.   

Nelson –   With Haden out, it would have been nice for Nelson to make a big play, but he made none at’all.      B-

Hilton – quiet game for this always-active player.   Had just 1 solo.    B-

Edmunds – sat out due to some pansie injury.  

Sean Davis - starts in place of Edmunds.   To his credit, he gave the team precisely what Edmunds gives — never anywhere near an aerial football.    

Minkah -  Stinkah Fitzpatrick -- what a gutless pussy on the Chubb TD run.   Despite having a superb ANGLE, and the nearby sideline, just pawed at the RB like a little faggot.   Batted away a sure TD pass in the EZ, 2Q.   Whiffed on Hunt on a running play, late 2Q.   

Sutton - As usual, did .little.    He didn’t gaffe badly, but he didn’t do jack shoit.   

Justin Layne – got abused by Higgins for a 42 yard catch and run, 1H.    Guy was WIDE fuking open as Layne was wandering, lost in space.   Very poor.     C-  
Spec teams:   
Jordan Cherry – punted 3 times, and punted adequately.   The trip to the unemployment office def paid off.   B+.

Boswell – sat out with a sore vagina.   

Matt Wright – successfully booted 3 of 3 FGs, including TWO 46 yarders. Please recall that PussyAssed Mike Stoogelin refused to send in Wright on a 46 yard FG in a loss a few weeks ago to the Foreskins, all because Dumblin lived in his fears that Wright couldn't kick the ball that far.   What a fuktard.

RayRay – dawdled like a fool on a punt return, late 2Q, getting drilled in the process.  Lucky it wasn’t a FF.  

The KO coverage was soft and spotty most of the game.  

OC:  Randy Sphincter oversaw the typically sporadic, sputtering 1st half offense that has ailed this team the past, what, 6 weeks.   

Schuster caught a pass and was tackled for a 12 yard gain, with like 2:19 left in the half.    Like asswipes, the offense dawdled, and then just pissed away the final ~12 seconds before the 2MW.   There’s absolutely zero reason why an NFL offense couldn’t have gotten another snap off before the 2MW.   

It was nice to see the deep and intermediate routes being executed, which we’ve seen all too few of the past 6-8 weeks.   Let us not forget, though, that Clev was playing without BOTH starting CBs,   The majority of the Pit offense today came courtesy of picking on a guy who had 6 snaps all year (#34, Jackson). Let’s see what steaming pile garbage Sphincter can dream up for next week’s game plan.     B-

Fans of Keith Assler will wail and caterwaul that he had to face the Browns without Watt, Hayward, Edmunds,a nd Haden.   

1st series - Alex Highsmith in SOLO coverage on Jarvis Landry.....fuking brilliant !!   Keith Assler -- he's a fuking genius !

Assler, The Genius, allowed easy as pie 85-yard TD march, opening drive.

In the 3Q, the offense produced a FG to make the score 10-9, and here, you have the opportunity to throttle a rattled foe and perhaps take the lead.   Nope, not Keith Assler….as he promptly allowed an 8 play, 76 yard TD march.  From here, the Stillers had to play catch-up football, down EIGHT.       C-  

HC:  Mike Asslin oversaw a fairly gritty effort, what with the numerous missing key players.    That said, playing flat, and playing feckless football, for nearly the entire 1st half is a recipe for playoff DISASTER.     C+.

Synopsis:  A loss is never desired, especially when the foe is the playoff opponent the very next week.  That said, the Stiller seemed to escape any major injury in this game.   Next week’s game with come down to how well Ben Shitlesberger fares.  Will he push the ball DOWNFIELD on occasion, or will he continually and incessantly settle for the THREE yard crossing route?   We shall find out on Sunday evening.   

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