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Stillers-Bungals Postgame Analysis and Grades

December 30, 2018 by Still Mill

Stillers 16, Bungals 13….Dec 30, 2018…………Game # 16


Stillers-Bungals Postgame Analysis and Grades


As they’ve been prone to do ALL season, the Stillers slopped their way around against a decrepit, inferior foe.   They pulled the game out on a late FG by a guy who’d been on the team less than 2 days.   I won’t spend much time on this report, as the season is over, thanks to the Balt win. 




QB:   Ben hadthe killer INT that has ha,pered this team most of the season, and this one was returned for a pick 6.  Not good.    C




Conner – finally returned to the lineup.   Had a solid game, with 14 rushed for 64, plus 3 grabs for 30.   A


Ridley –  after last week’s hideous fumble, saw zero PT on O.   Am sure he’s played his last game as a Stiller.


Samuels - got far more PT in the 1H than I would have preferred.   Had 2 rushes for a meager 2 yards.   Was effective as a pass catcher, grabbing 7 for 40.   B



Nix – did little.



Brownie – did not dress, due to a mysterious knee ailment.  


Heyward-Gay – no use on O. 


Switzer – Grabbed 1 pass for 2 yards on a chickenshit playcall on the late 3d & 5 before the final FG. 


JuJu – had only 5 grabs for 37, seeing a ton more coverage with AB out.   Also had a drop.   B-


Wash - hauled in a deep ball, and also grabbed a key crosser on the late GW FG drive.    A



Jesse James – no grabs.   Had a chance to make a fairly routine catch late in the game, but was unable to jump higher than TWO NICKELS to haul in the pass.    D-


Grimble - grabbed a wide open pass on 4th and one, and amazingly did not fumble the ball when tackled.  


McDonald - had 3 grabs for 39.   All in all, he seemed vastly underutilized this season.  


OL:  Overall, the line had numerous struggles against the Cinci pass rush.     Fat Foster was flagged for a silly, needless shove AFTER the whistle had sounded.   Pounced blew up a 4Q drive with TWO penalties.   For all the raving and fawning and the “3 men made it to the Blo Bowl”, this band of fat-asses again underachieved.    C



Heyward – wasn’t as dominant as the stat sheet shows.    Did little most of the game.   Got a Dong Sack when the BACKUP left tackle just completely ignored Heyward and allowed a cake-easy sack.


Tuitt – chipped in on a few plays, but a whopping 2 solos the whole game.


Hargrave - Did a little bit.  Of course, he was also the fat-ass who went offsides on a key 3d & 7 in the 4Q.  



Vinnie – did not dress. 


Bostic - Played sparingly, if at all.    Rather sad that he wasn’t able to beat out PJ Fort.


Fort - got a ton of PT, and had a half decent game.    Still is not deserving of this much PT on a team with Sup Bowl aspirations.  


Chickillo - some PT, but no impact at’all.     


Watt – Had another solid game, with 4 solos and a strip sack of the QB.   B+


Crud Dupree – Mostly did nothing, with 3 solos all game long.   Foolishly loop rushed on a 1H running play that was OBVIOUSLY a run, allowing a cake-easy 20 yard gain by Mixon.   Pretty much invisible all nite long.    C-  




Haden – mostly a decent game.   Had only 1 solo.


Burns – pretty much sat and rotted. 


Davis – did not dress. 


Hilton – very quiet game.


Senselessbaugh - played ok.  Might have value in 2019. 


Edmunds - saw a lot of PT.    Might be useable for 2019. 


Burnett - chipped in here and there.


Dangerfield - saw some PT with Davis out.


Spec teams:  

Jordan Berry –   punted 5 times for a mediocre 37.8 avg.    C


Matt McCrane – just signed on Friday (2 days ago), booted 3 for 3 FGs and 1 PAT.   Rather sad that some greenhorn signed just 12 days ago has more guts, grit, and attention to detail than the rest of this sloppy-assed team.   A+


OC:  Randy Sphincter had yet another shit game.   This schoolyard offense was completely lost without AB.  It’s as if they never once PLANNED on how to attack without AB.    I despised the late 3d & 5 play, which was a chickenshit LATERAL pass to Switz behind the LOS, which had a 2% chance of moving the chains.    McDonald was having a nice game, as was Conner and Samuel out of the backfield.   Rodgers was moving the chains.    And yet, this shit play is called.   


I also despised the WASTING of timeouts, both early in the 3Q as well as later in the 4Q.    The blame also belongs to Asslin, but Sphincter also warrants blame.    D



Keith Assler once AGAIN had the luxury of facing a weak, inept backup QB (this time, Jeff Driskel), and once again he struggled like a bitch.     The Bungals were without AJ Green, Tyler Boyd, and Eifert (whom Assler, the dumbass, referred to as being worried about in an interview 3 days ago).    Another WR, Core, dislocated his elbow in the 1Q and obv did not return.   The starting LT got hurt in the 3Q and did not return. Despite all of the massive advantage in experience and talent, Assler still struggled like a complete bitch, allowing Cinco to move the ball and chew clock.     The man is a proven dullard, with no hope in sight.    D-


HC:  Mike Dumblin oversaw another slopfest, with untimely penalties, a ghastly turnovers while his D once again produced zero turnovers.  I fuking despised how the 1st drive panned out.   Here they are, at HOME, in a must win game.   Facing a 4th and ONE -- ONE fuking yard -- at the Cinci 45, Asslin oversees a grab-assified attempt to draw Cinci offsides, and then a punt.    Fuck you, a punt.    Right here, this team needed to SEIZE CONTROL of the game, and choke the life out of a Cinci team that would have been more than happy to mail it in.   Instead of showing some gusto, Mike Asslin shows his true colors…..the colors of a chickenshit coward.  


Word on ESPN has it that Asslin has given the players off until Friday.   He wants to give them plenty of rest. 


This season went down the shitter right after the Thur nite win over a vastly mediocre Carolina team.   Asslin, all full of bravado and smugness, gave the players FIVE days off, in which they didn’t have to report back until Wed.    They followed this vacation with a shitty effort against an inept Jax team, and then the hideous 3 game losing streak that stole a sure playoff spot.   


It all starts at the top, and no one does less, with more, than Mike Asslin.    F


Synopsis:  A bitter end to a shit season.   A season with so much legit hope & promise, goes straight down the shitter.   To think, the bumbling, struggling Ravens ended up winning the division…..there’s not a coach or GM in the league who would trade the Stillers roster for that of the Poebirds.     And so goes another season up in smoke of the BenRoth window, which has now whittled down to perhaps, at most, 2 more seasons.   


 (Still Mill and -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)

Follow Mill on Twitter, at StillMill1


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