Pats 34, Stillers 13�
���. Dec. 9, 2007 ����Game # 13��
Stillers-Pats Postgame
Analysis and Grades
The
Stillers ventured to Boston to take on the 12-0 Pats, with high hopes of ending
the Pats� unbeaten season while also establishing themselves as co-frontrunner
in the AFC.�� Instead, after trailing
only 17-13 at the half, the Stillers were thoroughly blown out, embarrassed,
and humiliated en route to a 34-13 assbeating.��
3 days ago, I�d highlighted the keys to beating the Pats,
and sadly enough, the Stillers accomplished just 2 of the 7 keys and failed
miserably on all others.�
Grades:
QB:�
BenRoth picked a poor time to have an exceptionally mediocre game.�� He was spotty, tentative, and erratic throughout
the game.� Even on passes he did
complete, there were several occasions where the pass was thrown shabbily
enough that the receiver had to break stride, thus limiting RAC.� Facing a weak-assed secondary that had been
shredded by the likes of AJ Feel-Al and Kyle Bowler, Ben finished with a rather
unremarkable 19 of 32 for 187 yards.� Annotating
all of the poor passes would take too much space, but here�s a fair
sample of them:�
���������� -shabby lob, 3d & goal, 1st
series
���������� - shitty pass, 3d & 2, late
2Q.� May have been miscommo, although
the offense had just called a timeout prior to this play
���������� - pitiful low pass to open Holmes, 3d
& 11, 1st series 3Q
���������� - poor 3rd down pass to Ward, 2d
series 3Q
���������� - shoddy lob, thrown far too late,
in the EZ on 3d & goal in the 4Q
Ben made a
nice play to improvise and then hit Davenport on the lone TD, but that was
about in terms of above-average playmaking by the most important position on
the field.� If this team is to advance
come playoff time, Benji will have to play at least 4 times better.���� C.�
RB:�
Parker shook off last week�s case of the �dropsies� and chipped in with
a very stellar effort, gaining 124 yards on 21 rushes and grabbing 4 passes for
23 yards.� He ripped off several strong
runs, including a 9-yard power run in the 1Q; a 30-yard dash in the 2Q; a
19-yard run to start off the 3Q; and a few solid runs late in the 3Q.� On the down side, Parker dropped an easy dumpoff
late in the 2Q, all because he had his hands as ass-backwards as a professional
player could possibly have them while trying to catch a football.� He also committed a foolish false start
while split out as a slot man in the 2Q.�
Davenport had a strong game as well.��
He made a smart play to turn up the field on Ben�s shuffle-scramble, and
then finished the play with a sterling, leaping grab for the 32-yard TD.� He also had a good power run on 3d & 1
late in the 3Q and a good vault over the stack on the down in the 2Q.� �This
was the only position on the entire team that acquitted itself adequately the
entire game.�� A.�
FB: Davis saw limited action.� He chipped in with a few blocks for Parker.��� Inc.�
WR:�
Facing a weak NE secondary, this crew did very little.� Ward had 5 grabs, but for a paltry 39
yards.� Holmes had a grab in the 1Q for
13 yards, and then was gimpy and did little thereafter, mostly sitting out with
a hobbling injury.� He did have a nice
block on Parker�s 19-yard run on the 1st play of the 3Q.� Washington did little, grabbing 2 balls for 29
yards and dropping a curl pass in garbage time.� Cedric had 2 grabs, including a clutch 9-yarder in traffic on 4th
& 1 in the 2Q. ���C+.�
TE:�
Miller had 4 grabs for 28 yards.�
On Parker�s drop in the 2Q, Miller was thoroughly tooled by Vrabel while
pass blocking, which rushed Ben a bit.� Speath,
who started the season so strongly, has now essentially been entirely removed
from any participation in the passing game.�
The run blocking was adequate.���
B-.�
OL: Not that they were dominant, but the
line had one of their better days of what has been a struggling season for this
crew. �Parker gained over 5 yards per
carry, and Ben usually had adequate time in the pocket.� Colon and Simmons had nice pulls and blocks
on Parker�s 30-yard run.� Simmons in
particular had some strong run blocking in the 2Q.� Smith returned from the 2 games of injury-rest, and played
acceptably.�
������ But there were a host of piss-poor,
shoddy plays by this line.�� Alan Faneca
continues to establish himself as one of the most over-rated turds in the
entire league.� He was directly responsible
for 2 of the 3 NE sacks.� Late In the 1Q,
the Stillers ran a play-fake off a counter -- with Simmons pulling to the left
-- and Faneca did next to nothing, which allowed inside pressure and ultimately
the sack.� Early in the 3Q, Faneca stood
there, with his thumb up his ass on a THREE-man rush, as Vince Willfork rushed
right in front of his face and spun around The Crybaby, UNTOUICHED, for the
easy sack.�� You see lame-assed, piece
of shit plays like this, and you can�t help but wonder if Crybaby Alan is
throwing games just to spite Colbert and Rooney.�
���� Faneca wasn�t alone in the stench department.� Willie Colon was simply a wretched pile o�
shit in this contest.� He was flagged
for 2 holds.� Worse, his pass-pro technique
was simply awful.� Instead of squaring
up to the rusher and getting the initial �punch�, Colon, like a stupidass, kept
retreating faster than the French army without so much as delivering a love tap
to the onrushing Vrabel.� Within 2
seconds, Vrabel was within 8 inches from the QB and forcing Ben to scoot away
from pressure.� The play that really
enraged me was the 4th and 1 counter play to Hines, which was supposed to
follow Colon�s block into the EZ.� Colon
pulled slightly �to his right and had Junior
Seau right in front of him, but like a complete stupidfuk, Colon never attacked
Seau, instead standing nearly still and getting blistered backwards, which
caused Hines to run into Colon�s fat ass and botch the entire play for no
gain.� This was as weak and faggotty a play
as I have ever seen from a Stiller lineman in the past 10 years.�
����� Smith, Mahan, and Simmons: �B.����
��Faneca: �D. �����Colon: F.��
DL:�
The d-line was its usual ho-hum, hum-drum self.� Compared to the work of the Patriot D-line,
this crew looked like a band of 10th graders playing their 1st game of varsity
ball.� They did next to nothing to
impact the game.� �Wait, they did have one big play�.hold your cheers�.Keisel
did have a batted pass a the LOS late in the 2Q.� Yipee !! ��Aaron Smith was a complete zero and did absolutely
nothing.� Stop the presses -- Casey Hampton
finally made a crisp solo stop, tackling Maroney on a plunge in the 2Q.� �Quick, let�s rush out and extend this fat ass for another 4 years,
at $6 mill per year!!��� Hampton sucked
ass the rest of the game. �The one play
that says it all for this fat, over-rated pile o� shit, was at 3:40 of the
1Q.� Maroney took a handoff up the
gut.� Hampton was SOLO blocked -- not �tying
up a double team� the way you hear these fables and mythical bullshit -- and
Maroney ran RIGHT NEXT to The Fat Ass, who did nothing to disengage from the
blocker and tackle Maroney.� Worse,
while Maroney was pushing this pile a full 8 yards past first contact, Fat
Casey was literally WALKING - yes, walking -- after this scrum like a complete,
lethargic, fat pile o� shit.�� In the
2H, when NE never attempted to run the ball even once until garbage time, Fat
Casey was as useless as tits on a boar hog.��
��Hampton: D.�� ��Rest
of DL: C.
LB:�
Another mediocre, no-impact game from the position that is designed to
be the glory-hounds of this defense.�� Clark
Haggans, as has become a weekly occurrence, had 1 good rush and did nothing
else the entire game.� Larry Foote was a
day late and a dollar short.� Jamie Harrison
blasted Light back into the QB on the game�s first play, but generated little
heat or harassment the rest of the game.�
����� I�ve pointed out numerous examples this
season where Farrior has proven that he is clearly on the downside arc of his
career, and this game was chock full of them, as follows:�
���������� - On Maroney�s 10-yard run in the 1Q,
Farrior filled and met the 220-pound Maroney head-on, 2 yards downfield.� This was a basic, simple play for a veteran
ILB.� Instead, Farrior, the dumfuk, took
on Maroney HIGH, which Farrior has been stupidly doing all season.� Maroney proceeded to truck the 250-pound
Farrior and bulled and plowed, and moved the entire pile -- with Farrior
hanging on for dear life and then finally shrugged off like a rodent -- another
8 yards for the 10-yard gainer.� This is
as sickening a play as you�ll see in the NFL.�
���������� - On Moss�s 4-yard TD in the 1Q,
Farrior had the responsibility to provide inside slant help on Moss. �At the snap, he immediately darts out to do
that task, but then stumbles like a complete oaf as the ball is arriving and whiffs
in pathetic fashion.�
����������
���������� - At 8:00 3Q, Watson caught a
flarish-type bubble screen to the right.�
Farrior lumbered over, as slow as shit, but finally got the angle and had
Watson wrapped up for a short gain.� Or
so we thought.� Watson easily dragged Feeble
Farrior an extra 4 yards, before Gay finally had to pound Watson OOB at the end
of an 8-yard gain.��
���������� - On a 1D from their own 1-yard line
in the 4Q, Welker grabbed a short hitch from the slot with Farrior out covering
him.� Farrior -- supposedly �The Winged
God of Pass Coverage� -- got tooled on the cut, but was very nearby, and had a
good angle for the stop.� But true to his
nature, he was as slow and feeble as shit, and Welker easily pulled away for a
22-yard gainer as Farrior dove for nothing but air.�� ���
���������� In all, Farrior has proven that Timmons,
or a high draft pick, needs to be inserted into the starting lineup next season.���� Farrior: D.� All others: C.�
DB:�
The Mouth, Anthony smith, had guaranteed a victory.�� What he should have guaranteed, was a
sad-sack, horrific, piece of shit performance and a national embarrassment.� The guy was a total pile of manure, from beginning
to end.� He avoided contact on the 3rd
& inches, deep in Stiller territory, in the 1Q. �Then, after Brady completed the 4-yard TD pass to Moss, Asshole Anthony
got in Brady�s face like a complete asswipe.��
In the 2Q, Smith bit on a 1D play-fake -- despite the very facts that:� a.) he�s the FREE safety, b.) he has deep
coverage, c.) there are 8 defenders in front of him to stop the run, �and d.) NE had done next to nothing on the
ground.� Smith bites way up; Moss runs
right by; and 63-yards later the Pats have any easy TD.� �Then, on the �double pass� in the 3Q, Smith came biting up, then
stopped, then bit up SOME MORE like a complete moron, and was beaten for the 56-yard
TD by Gaffney.� �Both of these plays were as poor as piss for
a FREE safety in this defense.�� The
STRONG safety is the freelancer and the rover, while the free safety has DEEP
help, period.��
���������� Smith wasn�t alone in the boner
department.� Ike Taylor had his share of
blunders as well.� On an early 3d &
2, Ike had superb coverage on a deep stop to Moss, but typical of Ike, he flailed
and whiffed on the ball, as it seemingly went thru his hands, and Moss made the
circus catch for the clutch 1D.� On the
long Moss TD in the 2Q, Ike, as he ALWAYS does on 1st down, peeked into the
backfield and bit on the playfake like a rabid dog.� Moss blew right by Ike, and then by Smith, for the cake-easy
TD.�� Utterly pathetic.� Ike also committed a hold on Moss in the
EZ.� �Ike, when permitted to play up in Moss�s face, provided
tight coverage, but whenever he was ordered to play off, Moss had acres of
room.��
���������� Ty Carter made a� couple good sticks, but then failed to wrap
on the deep seamer late in the 2Q.� He
also stood around like an idiot in no man�s land -- covering nobody -- on the
short Welker TD pass in then 3Q.� ��Townsend played okay.�� Gay had a couple decent hits.� McFadden was totally invisible.��
���������� Anth Smith:� F.��� All others: C-
Spec
teams:� Another lousy game.�� The Stillers took the 3-0 lead with a FG,
but on the ensuing KO the spec teams blunderers easily allowed a 39-yard KO return
to the NE 48.�� Jeff Reed had a totally
horrible day kicking off, booting these gimpy-assed, low liners to the 12-yard
line that had zero hang time.�� �For the most part, Sepulveda punted adequately,
but then shanked a punt midway thru the 3Q that gave NE the ball at midfield.�
���������� The worst ST boner of the day belonged
to Allen Rossum on the shanked NE punt that hit Gay and caused a turnover.� This wasn�t Gay�s fault, it was Allen Rossum�s.� Remember, a blocker like Gay -- who is running
AWAY from the punter and never sees the ball in midair -- has no idea if the
punt has been shanked.� It is the responsibility
of the punt returner to WAIVE OFF the blockers with wild, frantic, animated,
theatrical waving and shouting, not standing there like Rossum as quiet and morose
as a Tibetan monk in deep prayer.�� For
a veteran punt returner, this was as piss poor and lethargic an effort
as I�ve ever seen around the league.� Then,
on the opening KO of the 2H, Rossum failed to follow the blocking to the
outside, and a very promising KOR was stopped for 24 yards.�
���������� Arnie Harrison committed a foolish
late hit in garbage time, and Gay was flagged for running OOB in punt coverage in
the 1Q.��
���������� Rossum:� D+� ������All
others:� C
OC:�
No analyst around the country has ridiculed Airhead Arians as much as I
have, and yo9u all saw the cold, hard truth of this daft simpleton today.�� He was as clueless as he was moronic.�� The biggest flaw today, was that the Patsie
pass defense, which had been carved and eaten alive by the weak-assed offenses of
Philly and Balt, suddenly was like GLUE and VELCRO on every single pass play.�� Aside from broken plays where Ben scrambled
to buy time, EVERY pass play was challenged by a DB that was within 5 inches of
the intended receiver.� Given the utterly
pitiful talent and depth of this secondary, HOW, pray tell, is that possible???�� I�ll tell you how -- it�s because Arians runs
an offense that is as stale as week-old bread, and every bit as shitty
tasting.� This dull, unimaginative offense
puts ZERO pressure on any defender; never puts the defense off balance; and fails
to exploit any weaknesses.�� It�s
the classic grab-bag offense that could just as well be managed by a 7th grader
with a chart of plays to call into the QB. ��Other notes:� �
���������� - If you were to tabulate the total
amount of RAC yardage gained by the Stiller offense today, it would be a number
no greater than, oh, about 30 total yards.���
���������� - You need to have mindset of scoring
30+ points to beat the Pats.� Arians had
no such hunger and was more than willing to wallow in the red zone.��
���������� - a classic example of this guy�s
ineptitude and incompetence occurred at the end of the 3Q.� At 0:32 3Q, down 31-13, Davenport gets stopped
on a 3D plunge for 2 yards at the NE 8-yard line.�� The stop was made at 0:32.�� You�re down by 18 (eighteen) points, which is at least a 3-score
game, and perhaps 4-score the way this Steeler softee defense was playing.� The offense then lumbered and fiddle-faddled
and played grab-ass, and by the time they meandered to the LOS, the 3Q clock had
expired.�� This is as clueless of clock
management as you can find in the NFL.�
���������� - The problem with the �goal to go� sequence
early in the 4Q, was they ran nearly IDENTICAL plays to Ward, in the same direction�.first
a shovel, and then 2 plays later, a counter that was entirely too similar.� Sandwiched in between was a no-brained,
futile lob to Holmes that has a .003% chance of every succeeding.� �
���������� - there was the burned timeout before
the 3d & 2 late in the 2Q, in which the offense diddle-dicked around and
had to burn the TO. �Coming out of the
TO, the offense was so in synch that a simple 4-yard curl was misfired due to
some bizarre miscommo.�
���������� - As of 5:46 of the 4Q, Arians�
offense had mustered al of 32 2nd-half passing yards against a defense that was
reeling and flailing against 2 of the worst offenses in pro football.� �Isn�t
it amazing how Feeley and Boller -- 2 piece of shit QBs - can carve up the Pats
defense and Arians -- with 15 times more offensive talent -- can�t do jack shit
to score except for a broken play on the Davenport TD��?�� �
��� Once again, all those members of the Bruce
Arians Fan Club -- please step forward to accept your justly-deserved ridicule.������ F
DC:�
I�d been ridiculing the softee nature of this paper tiger defense the
past 4 games, only to hear cries of, �It�s the #1 defense in the league�how can
you complain�.?��� This game
proves without question that absolutely nothing is more meaningless
than defensive football statistics.� N-O-T-H-I-N-G.�� Defensive
football stats are generated almost entirely based upon� a.) the quality of the opposing offense, b.)
�the situations during the game (ie,
sitting on large lead, etc.), and� c.) weather
and field conditions.�� For 12 solid
weeks, the Stiller defense was a fa�ade that had feasted on creampuffs and clumsy
incompetents, with the most dangerous QB they�d faced being -- hold your
laughter -- Derrick Anderson.� Today, they
faced a competent offense led by a competent QB, and they were carved up like a
Halloween pumpkin.�
���������� It won�t do
much good, but I suppose the Stillers could file a complaint to the NFL about
the unfair advantage the Patriots offense had for most of the 2nd half.� The Patriots, you see, had 11 players to the
10 of the Steelers.� That�s right -- TEN
players on defense.� Sure, the Stillers
actually trotted out 11 men, but one was an utter and complete waste, that being
the fat, 340-pound lardassed nose tackle.��
NE never tried a true running play the ENTIRE 2nd half,
except for a couple plunges in garbage time at the very end of the game.� Nonetheless, Dick the Dullard kept sending
out Fat Casey Hampton, or Nick Eason, to do nothing more than paw and titty-joust
with the center or guard at an area about 18 inches deep in the
NE backfield.�� Dick wasn�t on the staff
during the 2002 opener, in which NE did the SAME thing to this defense, but he
should have been acutely aware of it, and he should have made an adjustment
long before the 9:00 mark of the 4Q, when he finally pulled his NT for most of
the remainder of the tilt.�
���������� Other notes:
���������� - You have
to wonder exactly what Dick did to prepare Anthony Smith for this game.� Obviously, Dick did next to nothing.�
���������� - This wasn�t
only 34 points given up.� �The Pats missed a 48-yard FG, and Moss dropped
a WIDE-open TD in the 4Q.�
���������� - Ike had
been very successful in the 1H when lining up in Moss�s face.� Sure enough, Dick has Ike playing 14 yards OFF
Moss to start the 3Q, and Moss grabs a short slant and gets huge RAC
yardage.� �
���������� - One of the keys to beating the Pats
that I�d noted was to get PRESSURE on Brady.�
In the 1st half, there was adequate pressure and Brady was held in check,
and the defense forced some stops.�� In the
locker room, NE made adjustments while Dullard Dick did absolutely
nothing.� The pressure in the 2H was a
feeble as shit, allowing Brady plenty of time, space, and vision to play pitch
n� catch.��
���������� - Starting RG
Russ Hochstein had to be replaced by Billy Yates in the 2Q, and it hardly
mattered with Dick, who couldn�t take advantage of a drunken wino if his life
depended on it.����
�
���������� - the overt
lack of gang tackling was just sickening.�
The entire defense stood around and watched whenever ONE defender attempted
a tackle.� This has been going on for
weeks and apparently it will continue for another 4 weeks.�� ��
���������� � F
HC:� Tomlin has
now reached the bottom of an abyss, and he�s got a long way to crawl out of
it.�� He allowed Anthony Smith -- a
known loudmouth -- to make the jackassed guarantee. �Not good, but it does happen.�
But then Tomlin does NOTHING to Smith -- a boorish loudmouth that belongs
with the Ravens thugs -- in terms of punishment, discipline, or at least making
sure the guy is mentally ready to play a quality ballgame on Sunday.�� Tomlin preaches accountability, but lately
has not backed it up, at all.�
���������� Remember, NE
was the team coming off the road MNF game, not Pittsburgh.�� This should have given us an extra day of
preparation, but the only preparation this staff was involved in was the excessive
usage of Preparation-H ointment.�
���������� The lack of
intensity, the lack of a coherent game plan to attack NE�s obvious weaknesses,
and the lack of any halftime adjustment all must be partially attributed to
Tomlin.� �Very, very disappointing.���
D-
Synopsis: �A totally humiliating assbeating. There�s no sense sugar coating
this or glossing over the hard facts.�� Down
by only 3 at halftime, this Stillers team was thoroughly outclassed, toyed with,
and embarrassed in front of most of the entire country.�� There is no time to mope or wallow,
however.� The Stillers must now host the
Jax Jagoffs, who themselves have physically dominated and thrashed the Stillers
in each of the past 2 seasons.� To a certain
degree, you can write off this road loss to the very best team in the NFL, but
playing at home against a solid but very unspectacular Jags team, this Stillers
crew needs to learn some quick lessons and then go out and hunt bear against
the Jags.
(Still Mill
and Stillers.com -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers,
no one else comes close�.)