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Stillers-Texans Postgame Analysis and Grades

December 25, 2017 by Still Mill

Stillers 34, Texans 6 ……. Dec 25, 2017…………Game # 15


Stillers-Texans Postgame Analysis and Grades


The 11-3 Stillers went to Houston to face the lowly 4-10 Texans.   Aided by facing not one, but two decrepit backup QBs, the Stillers managed to stave off the Texans in a fairly easy win.   Mind you, this game could have been 12 times closer, if the moronic HOU head coach, O’Brien, not chosen to PASS the ball, TWICE, with a THIRD string QB from the 9-inch line on 3d & 4th downs in the 2Q  of what was then a 10-0 lead.    Had HOU punched this in, suddenly it’s a 10-7 nailbiter.    Given the decrepit nature of these Texans, I won’t spend all too much time analyzing this game, as any .500 club should have been able to manhandle this lowly HOU squad.



QB:   Good deep lob to Bryant, 2d series.   Ben had an efficient 20 of 29 game, for 226, 2 TDs, and no INTs.   Not shabby.     A


Jones - got some PT in garbage time.   Was 0-1 in passing.    Inc



Bell - bobbled a 2Q screen pass, like a jackass, which nearly resulted in a disastrous fumble & turnover.  Converted a fairly huge 3d & 6 catch & run, 2  plays later, and then ran for 22 yards 2 plays after that.  Stellar run and reach over the GL for a TD, late 3Q.  Very solid game, and more importantly, escaped without injury.  Presumably he’ll wear a ballcap during most of next week vs. Clev.     A


Fitz Three-saint - mercifully, never toted the ball, even in garbage time.   Hopefully we never see him, ever, carry the pigskin again for the Stillers.


Ridley - gained 3 yards on a plunge, 2Q.  Ran a toss sweep, slowly, 2 plays later for 4 yards.  Had 9 carries for 28.    Wasn’t terribly impressive, but at this point, I’ll take just about anybody other than Three-saint.  




Nix - ran a FB plunge on 1st & goal for a key TD, 2Q.   Had some ok lead blocks.



Brownie – did not dress; calf injury.


Bryant - Good haul in of deep lob, 2d series.  Stellar churn and stretch to get 1t down yardage on a 3d & 12 slant, 2Q.    Stunning !   Had 3 grabs for 60.   If this fellow could man-up come playoffs time, it could be all the difference.      A


Eli - Had only 1 grab for 6.    B-


Heyward-Gay – saw little PT on O. 


JuJu - stellar grab of a high, hard pass, 3d & 4, 3Q, to move the chains.  Superb adjustment and grab of a deep ball, 4Q, good for 49 yards.  Then ran a sharp route and grabbed a 17-yard TD, 4Q.   Just  21 years of age, he’s a man among boyz !!     A+


Hunter - Good TD grab of low pass in the EZ, 1Q.   Probably will play a lot next week, and then don sweatpants come playoff time.  



Jesse James - Held off the score sheet, which was a b it surprising considering his emergence as a solid valve receiver.  


Grimble - no passes thrown his way.  


McDonald - Good grab, 2nd play of game, for 13 yards.  Then followed it up on the next play with a 20-yard gainer.  On the very next play, led Bell with a block for a 10-yard run.  Good 3D conversion on an out, late 1Q.   Then again, he ran into a cameraman as he ran OOB on this play, and with a pansie-ass like Vance, one never knows if a mild collision like that can cause him to -- AGAIN -- miss 2 or 3 games with yet another phantom injury.    B 


OL:  Overall, the line played solidly without Foster and with Gil back in the lineup. 


Villeneueva -  had some struggles, as always, with speed rushes.   


Gilbert -  FatAss Marcus returned after his boneheaded PED suspension.   Got abused on a speed rush by Clowney, first drive, to force an errant 3D pass.  


Foster –  sat out.  Finney started in his place and did ok.  


Pouncey - flagged for a hold, late 2Q, which was declined. 


DeCastro – Had a solid game.



Hargrave - got completely dominated and walled off by a double-team on a 3d & 1 plunge, 2d series.   His play has languished the past 10 weeks or so, and I’mn about as impressed right now as I was with, say, Piggy Hood.     C-  


McCullers - once gain did not dress.   Why wasn’t this sorry pilo shoit cut instead of Harrison ??


Heyward – feebly whiffed on the RB, which allowed an 11 yard run, 2nd series.   Got a Dong Sack on the very next play.   Got a cheezy FF on a fingertip nip of the ball while Yates was scrambling, late 2Q.  Had an ok, but hardly dominant, game, as the run D got continually gashed.  B- 


Tuitt – flagged for a hands to the face, 4Q, on the Hopkins TD grab, so the flag was of course declined.   Got a FF on a nip of the ball on the QB in the pocket, late 4Q.  Had 1 solo and 1 A in an underwhelming effort.   C+


Alu - Saw some PT, did little.  


Walton - not sure if he did anything the entire game.   



Vinnie– flagged for a silly, needless, brainless taunting of Hopkins after a failed 2-point pass play, 4Q.  Really sophomoric and juvenilish, and in a closer game, could have been a much larger mistake.    Not pleased that the run D got continually gashed.     C 


Moats - saw only sparse PT.  


Spence - way too fuking slow on a quick out pass to Miller, early 2Q.   Then, on the very next play, simply QUIT on the play, and let go of Blue, who gained 2 extra yards to the 9-inch line.    Just a complete waste of space and oxygen.     D 


Harrison – stupidly, the team cut him 3 days ago. 


Chickillo - saw some snaps, esp when Watt got nicked up.   


Watt - committed an offsides, 1Q, like a damn fool.  Drew a masking flag, early 2Q.   Zero solos.    B-


Dupree – On the Hou 2nd play of the game, Crud was COMPLETELY UNBLOCKED, and make a CAKE-EASY solo stop on a line plunge.  Helped force a sack by Spence, 4Q.   Had a bunch of slop stops, which wasn’t’ terribly impressive, but at least was more active than some of these recent games where he’s stood around the entire game with thumb up ass.     B


Fort - clumsily took himself out of the play on a simple run up the gut, early 2Q, which gained 8 yards or so.   



Mitchell – Took a completely brainless, dumbassed angle on the long Blue run, early 2Q.  Once again, did NOTHING in pass defense.    C+


Gay  -  saw little PT. 


Haden - busted up a slant, 1Q.   Nearly was flagged for PI on the very next play, which was a deepish flag to Hopkins that was just barely too long.   Good chop-down of Blue, early 2Q.  Got tooled by Hopkins on a simple curl and huge RAC, last play of 3Q.   Then flagged for a hold of Hopkins later in the drive.  Then got out-jousted by Hopkins for a TD on the next play.    Good to see him back and getting some work.     B- 


Burns - Artie Burned had a rare, big play, INT’ing the ball in the EZ on a 4th & goal from the 9-inch line, 2Q.  B


Davis -  at least he didn’t quit, like a faggott, like he did last week vs. Gronk.     B


Hilton - Sack, 3rd play o’ the game.   All this dude does is make plays.  Nailed Yates on a sack, late 2Q.   Collected his 3rd sack when he blitzed and dropped Heineke, 3Q.   All this dude does is MAKE PLAYS.    A+



Spec teams:  

Jordan Berry – punted 3 times.   Dogshit 39-yard punt, first play of 2Q.   Decent 47-yard punt, 3Q, that was FC at the 10.   This is acceptable.   Also had a rare 57-yard boot.     A-


Boswell – Money, as always.   Dude is money in da bank.    A+


Rogers - stellar punt return, 3Q, for 28 yards !   Nicely done.   And to think, Mike Asslin rotted him on the bench as a punt returner, for, what, 12 weeks, because of ONE muffed punt in the Chicago game.  Had another solid punt return late in the game.     A



The offense marched with ease on the opening drive, SHREDDING the Texans with 5 consecutive completions.   Then Haley calls a 1st down run, which got stuffed for a yard.   On 2d and 9, you cannot get vanilla and chickenshit, but that’s precisely what Haley did, and a Bell plunge was stuffed for another paltry ONE yard gain.   On 3d & 8, Hous forced a harried pass that was inc, and ONCE AGAIN, this vaunted offense settled for a FG.   They O did find itself here and there, although they were helped enormously by a completely inept HOU offense that continually either punted or gave the ball away.     B



Keith Assler had his near-weekly luxury of playing a sack-o-dung QB, and this week it was PJ Yates.   Then, sure enough, PJ got injured, forcing Tyler Heinecke from Old Dominion Univ, of all places, to play QB.   Even with the inept ODU QB in the game, Assler had his struggles, as the defense got GASHED continuously on the ground.   Jax has to be licking their chops, because this run defense couldn’t stop a AAA high school offense right now.    Complete piss and barf.     C- 


HC:  Mike Dumblin will be all proud, handling the inept 4-10 Texans and their 3rd string (and 4th string !) QB.    At least they didn’t lay the egg, albeit it’s awfully tough to lay an egg against such an acutely decrepit foe.     B


Synopsis:   An adequate win over a downtrodden foe.   The key is that no one was hurt, and numerous key players can rest next week.    Sure, the Pats play the lowly NYJ at the same time (1 PM EST), and in theory, the Pats could lose.  I suspect the starters will all start the game, with a keen eye on the scoreboard.    If the Pats start to blow out the Jest, then several starters will be pulled from the game as the game progresses.   Then, an off week to get healthy and rest up.   And maybe some film study on how to fix this softee,, porous run defense.  Merry Xmas to all, and all a goodnite ! 


(Still Mill and -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)

Follow Mill on Twitter, at StillMill1 

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