Jags 30, Stillers 9……. Oct 8, 2017………Game # 5
Stillers-Jags Postgame Analysis and Grades
The Stillers hosted the 2-2 Jags, looking to add on to their big win last week in Balt. Instead, they pretty much spent the entire 1st half playing grab ass, and were down at the half, 7-6. The 3Q fell to pieces on a couple of Pick-6’s, and then there was more slop and manure in the 4Q, with the Stillers getting humiliated, 30-9. I won’t spend much time dissecting this asswhipping, as the team obviously spent little time preparing for this game. Plain and simple, the team sucked ass on both sides of the ball.
QB: Obviously, tjhis was Ben’s grisliest day as a pro, with 5 INTs, two for Pick 6’s, and a QB rating of 37.
Decent deep ball to AB, first play of game, for 49 yards. Not enough mustard on a pass to McDonald, late 1Q, which was picked off. Why, again, is Ben trying to jam a ball to McDonald, who hasn’t did dick in 5 games with this club??
Insisted on throwing a 3d & goal pass to a smothered AB, pinned along the side of the EZ, and of course the pass was Inc.
Had a 3Q pass deflected (surprise!) , which was picked off and returned for a TD. Another INT was picked sixed, 3Q. Then threw a hideous INT, 4Q, to seal the loss. Threw a wounded quail for an INT, late 4Q.
Ben’s problems are many. Too timid. Too scattershot. Too many tipped passes at the LOS. And not getting any better this deep into the season. F
Bell - One of the very few who showed up ready to play. Had only 15 rushes. Grabbed an astounding 10 passes, for 46 yards. A-
Conner - Was in the game for a screen pass to him, 1Q, but the play was smothered and Ben threw it away. As usual, was never permitted to carry the ball, until late game garbage time.
Nix - Didn’t do much.
Brownie – good adjustment, deep ball, first play o’ game, for 49 yards. Flagged for a hold on a 15 yard Bryant run, 1Q. Stupid, and brainless. Pin-balled off a big hit after a grab, late 2Q, and gained 23 yards on the play. Had 10 grabs for 157. B+
Bryant - Committed a jack-assed false start from his own 4 yard line, 1Q. Lazily allowed the DB to rip the ball out of his hands for an inc pass, late 2Q. Good block on Bell’s long run, 3Q. Had 5 grabs for a piddly 21 yards. Continues to get tackled at the slightest pinkie-finger of contact; has no more elusiveness than Rosie Nix, and showed a continual presence of laxness and complacency. He’s a major reason why this offense sux ass, because he’s producing like a #4 WR despite getting #2 PT. D
Eli - not dressed, because, you know, of how vaunted this offense is.
Heyward-Gay – nothing.
JuJu - good grab despite big hit, late 1Q, for 21 yards. Had 4 grabs for 58. B
Hunter - did basically nothing. Grabbed a late WR screen for a few yards. We have no idea why this pud-puller is getting PT over Eli. C
Jesse James - Only 3 grabs, for 24. B-
McDonald - shoddy block on sweep, first series, which lost 2 yards. Poor. Then made a shoddy, flimsy-assed attempt to grab the pass, late 1Q, which was picked off. He sux ass, and if he were cut tomorrow, I’d shed no tears. C-
OL: Overall, the line blocked like ass, allowing far too much pass pressure and getting stoned on too many runs.
Villeneueva - got completely humiliated on an inside move, causing a sack, 3Q. C-
Gilbert - FatAss Marcus once again did not dress. He’s a fat ass, with a bad hamstring.
Hubbard - started in place of Gil. Got completely abused by Campbell on a PAP play, 1Q, which totally blew up the play and forced Ben to scramble. Got abused for a sack, late 3Q. He’s getting worse, not better. D
Foster – adequate game.
Pouncey - adequate.
DeCastro – Had an easy chance to knock the DB OOB on the 2nd pick 6, but instead, like a faggott, just fell OOB without even making a play on the ballcarrier. Very sorry. Late in the 4Q, on a play in which Ben finally threw a TD pass, DeAsstro was flagged for a hold. Gee, it’s a good thing GM Kevin Doltbert rushed out to extend this stiff. Even better, I suppose, that Dolbert overpaid him. D
Hargrave - good hole fill and assist, 2nd series. Solid game. B
McCullers - Thankfully did not dress.
Heyward – Quiet as a farting mouse; did nothing all game. D
Tuitt – good, smothering tackle on a ground play, late 1Q. That was about it. C-
Alu - Had a couple stops.
Walton - not much
Vinnie– Had an awful , stumbling WHIFF on a screen to Lewis, 2Q, which gained 11. Very poor. Beat the rookie RB and got a sack, late 2Q. Onn a big 3rd & 3, 4Q, got trucked by Ivory on a run that moved the chains. Led the team with 6 solos, but had a weak effort. C
Shaquier – tooled on seam route by Lee, 1Q, for 31 yards. Savvy, stellar strip of a TE, late 2Q, just before the man was down, forcing an odd but effective INT. Only so so in the run stuffing. B-
Moats - no PT
Harrison – surprisingly did not dress. Go figure.
Chickillo - no PT
Watt - Started and faced a rookie LT. Good tackle on ground play, 2nd play of game. Good wrap and tackle for a 2 yard loss, 2Q. Had 5 solos in a decent effort. B-
Dupree – stupidly went offsides, although it meant nothing as Fornette easily scored a 2Q TD. Got sucked inside on a 12 yard run around end, 4Q. Despite basically playing every snap of the game, finished with ZERO solos and a 1 assist. We’ve found our new Jason GilDong, and his name is Crud DuPree !! F
Mitchell – Woofed and barked a lot, but made no meaningful impact. B-
Gay - Not much.
Haden - Not much.
Burns - lost his man in a coverage, and then failed to wrap and tackle the pass-catcher, allowing an extra 6 yards on an 18 yard play. Very poor. Little impact.
Davis - good run stuff, late 2Q, on Ivory. Had an ok game.
Hilton - Good coverage, first 3rd down play, inc pass. Not much after that.
Jordan Berry – Rare, booming punt of 55 yards, FC at the Jax 8 2Q. I was stunned. Of course, on the next series, he punted late in the 2H and got off a shoddy, piece of sh!t punt that traveled all of 29 yards, giving Jax golden FP at the PIT 48 with 1:06 left in the half. Decent pooch punt, first play 4Q. Overall, he sucked ass. D
Boswell – booted 3 FGs. He’s the most vital part of the offense right now. A
AB – did little.
OC: Facing the worse run D in the NFL, Haley decided to get cute and clever, and went pass happy like a complete moron. Remember the cries of “30 points a game”? Who’d have though it would mean handing the OTHER team 30 points a game off Pick 6’s ??
1st & 10, Jax 13, first series, and as usual, they fiddled and faddled, and settled for a FG. The O had a chance, deep in Jax territory late in the 2Q, but as usual, played grab-ass and did nothing, again settling for a FG.
On a 1st & goal at the 5, 3Q, Haley gets all cutesey and calls a WR screen to JuJu, which was smothered (surpise!) and Ben had to throw it away. Just a brainless, moronic call at the point of the field.
This offense completely sux ass. There is no creativity or innovation. NOTHING is set up, EVER. It’s one grab-bag lay after another. F
Keith Assler had his weekly luxury, this week getting to face a bland, vanilla offense with a mediocre starting QB.
The Jags took over at the PIT 47 after the INT, early 2Q, with the Stillers in the lead, 3-0. Instead of making a stand and getting the ball back, Assler gets GASHED -- 18 yard catch and run; 12 yard 12; and then an avalanche of 5 consecutive plunges, as easy as pie, for the go-ahead TD. Thank you, Keith Assler.
A good punt pinned Jax on their own 8, next drive. Jax started with a false start, and soon faced a 3d & 9 from the JAx 9. Sure as shit, Assler allows the QB a cake-easy scramble of 10 yards to move the chains. Instead of forcing a punt from the Jax EZ, the Jags were able to sustain their march. And march they did….chewing up a ton of clock and advancing to the PIT 42 before punting, putting the Stillers at their own 5-yard line with only 1:51 left in the half. Thank you, Keith, you ass.
A pooch punt, 1st play 4Q, pinned Jax down on their own 4. Sure as shit, Assler allows one 1st down after another, allowing Jax to chew an enormous amount of clock while moving to the PIT 29. The Jags got an easy FG, while chewing up over 8 minutes of clock. Another tahnk you to the big as, Keith Assler. F
HC: Mike Dumblin once again failed to have his team prepared schematically or mentally. One man approved of this shit game plan of Todd Haley, and that fellow is Mike Asslin. The D is not to be absolved; they continue to get gashed by physical offenses with tough power backs. These team has now played 5 games. They barely beat an inept Clev team. They eked by, at home, over a Vike team that started a backup QB thrust into the starting job 90 minutes prior to KO. They got humiliated in Chico, then beat a sorry Raven team, and then today got ass-whipped on both sides of the ball. SToogelin is rapidly pissing away the home field advantage, which is what he did last season in Oct. F-
Synopsis: Another shit loss, with the team sucking ass all over the field. Shoddy blocking. Shoddy tackling. Pathetic game plans and scheming. Careless attention to detail mixed with mediocre intensity. Off to KC next week, in what could be a severe beating if this sorry-assed team doesn’t snap out of its collective funk.
(Still Mill and Stillers.com -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)
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