Rams 33, Stillers 21 ���. Oct. 26, 2003 ����Game #7
Stillers-Rams Postgame
Analysis and Grades
On a rainy,
sloppy afternoon, the Rams spoiled the Stillers' 1,000th game, coming from
behind in the 3rd quarter to overtake the hapless Stillers.�
Grades:
QB:�
Tommy Maddox has become Bommy Maddox, as in, he's bombing out.�� He threw high all day long, and finished
with numbers that would have made Kordell Stewart proud of: 12-28 for 159
yards, with a paltry 5.68 YPA and 3 INTs.�
It's evident that the only good offseason move Colbert made was
to not lavish Mommy Maddox with a fatty contract.� El had a nice 32-yard run as a QB.� D.� �
RB:�
The great hero and savior, Big Jerome Bettis, got the start today,
because he's so great and he alone could carry the team on his shoulders to
victory.� The Tubby Tailback, of course,
didn't do jack squat.� Sure, he had a
few hard-nosed plunges, but overall he finished with a measly 42 yards (3.5
yards per crack) and a long run of 8 yards.�
Worse, he fumbled once and damned near had another fumble.� Amoz had a paltry 2 carries and 2 receptions.� C-.�
FB: Kreider blocked ok and grabbed 1
pass for 15 yards.� On a team that isn't
all that interested in playing power football, Kreider's skills are mostly
wasted.� B.�
WR:�
This was the WR corps worst outing of the season.� Ward had 2 TDs and a couple other noteworthy
plays, but also dropped a couple balls.�
Jaxico Burress wasn't looked at often, and he also had a drop.� If you can believe this, Burress finished
the day with 1 catch for 6 yards.�
No, this is not a misprint.� Look
for Burress to be among the first to blow up and get the dissention train going
full speed ahead.� As has happened all
season, the Stillers got little out of their #3 WR (Randle El -- 2 grabs, 13
yards) and absolutely nothing out of their #4 WR.� D.�
TE:�
Tuman grabbed a 21-yard pass in the 1H, and then wasn't allowed to
participate in the passing game thereafter.�
B.�
OL: The oft-faltering O-line actually had
an ok day.� They weren't dominant, and
they allowed some leakage on pass protection, but on the whole they were a
helluva lot better than the past 2-3 games.�
Although called for a hold, Vincent was more than adequate at LG, which once
again begs the question of, "Why has this man rotted for 3
seasons?"� Simmons was surprisingly
adequate.� Turnstile Todd,
Todd Fordham, was once again wretched.� His
imitation of a turnstile got Madd Ox sacked on one occasion.� B-.�
DL:�
The D-line did its usual share of plugging, mucking, and grinding, which
is moderately acceptable but not the kind of sheer impact that wins football
games.� Kimo had a nice sniff and stuff of
Harris for a 13-yard loss on a reverse, but that was about the extent of any
significant impact.� The run defense was
too soft near the goal line, allowing TD runs of 8 & 9 yards, which is
unacceptable.� C-.� ��
LB:�
James Farrior had a monster day, leading the D with 11 solos and making
plays all over the field.� Porter played
pretty good, although he was all too infrequently permitted to rush the QB,
which minimized what he could have done.�
KenBell had too quiet a day, spending a lot of time getting caught up in
the wash or taking poor angles.� Jason
GilDong was, as usual, entirely ineffective and inadequate.� He could have had an easy sack but whiffed
in pathetic fashion, and otherwise rarely generated any pressure.� Go watch that first TD to Holt, in which
Jason is tittyfighting some 14 yards from the QB, way off near the left flats.� Farrior & Porter:� A.�
Bell: C.� GilDong:� D.� �
DB:�
There's apparently no end to the Keystone Cops routines that this incompetent
band of boobs is capable of pulling off.�
They got burnt, beaten, abused, and tooled the entire day.� DeWayne and Chad were downright pathetic.� Burnt Alexander, who is always hailed and
praised as being "just like a coach out there on the field", played
just like a coach�a 48-year old coach who cannot run, jump, move, or make plays
on the football.� If being "just
like a coach" is such a great attribute for a starting player, when will Dick
Hoak assume the starting RB chores?� Troy
Pola stumbled and bumbled throughout the game, including a surefire ESPN
classic in which he imitated a tire and allowed an easily-defensed ball to
slither right between his arms.� I've
seen nearly every team play at least once this season, and there cannot be a
worse secondary in the entire NFL than this group of bumblers.� F.�
Spec
teams:� El and Taylor provided the sparks on the
ST.� El took a punt back 84 yards -- a
Stiller record -- for a TD.� Taylor,
whom I've been pushing for KO return work the past 5 weeks, had 6 returns for a
buck-forty and ran with authority and speed.�
Jason GilDong, the "veteran team captain whom everybody looks up
to", was flagged for holding on a Rams FG, which allowed the Rams to
decline the FG and take the 1st down, which they converted into a 4Q TD that gave
the Rams a 12-point margin.� The God of
Blocking, Mark Bruener, was also called for holding on a Reed extra point, but
Reed made the follow-on boot.� B-.�
OC:�
Mularkey continues to spiral down the commode.� When an OC can't get anything more than 1 catch for 6 yards from
Plex Burress, then the OC ought to be shot.�
3rd & 1 early in the 3Q, and what does Mularkey do?� Instead of lining up in a power running
formation and either slamming the ball on the ground or using the PLAY ACTION
pass, Mularkey goes into the pass-happy formation, and the play gets
INT'd.� 3rd down efficiency?�� ONE for ten.� Pure vomit. �F.� ��
DC:�
It's quite evident that there's no more than 3 worse DCs in all of pro
football, than Tiny Tim Lewis.� The man
had a BYE WEEK to make some adjustments, but instead he came out with the
Vanilla Defense deluxe.� Both the
run defense and pass rush are so vanilla that the Stillers ought to switch to all-white
uniforms.� And the pass defense --
remember all the babble we heard this pass week about "disrupting the
Rams' receivers", and "playing tough on them"?� See any of it?�� No, neither did I.� 3rd
& 23 -- not a problem for the Rams, who got the first down with ease on a
40-yard gain.� Torry Holt must be
considering an offseason demand to be traded to any team in the AFC North
besides Pittsburgh.� If he can face such
a softee defense twice a year, he'll be a shoe-in for the Hall of Fame.�� And how's this for brilliance from a DC --
let's have James Farrior SOLO cover Isaac Bruce.� What brilliance.� No wonder
they call the man Tiny Tim.�
F.� �
HC:� After the
Denver loss, Billy Cowher claimed with beaming pride, "I like what I see
from this football team."�� Gee,
after this horrific loss, Cowher will apparently pound his chest and declare,
"I absolutely love what I see from this football team.� I'm just so proud and pleased."� Cowher had a bye week to turn this sorry
team around, and what did he do?� Aside
from wasting MOST of the extra week by giving players AND coaches gobs of time
off, Cowher did nothing.� The defense is
soft, meek, and timid.�� There are no
hard hits, there's no hustle, there's no grit, and there's no playmaking.� The offense is a stumbling monument to incoherence.� There isn't a single NFL coach -- not even
one -- who is more overpaid and more underachieving, than Little Billy
Cowher.� F-.�
Synopsis:�
Despite playing in the NFL's weakest division, the season is now
over.� The Stillers are now, quite
appropriately, the cellar-dwellers of the NFL's weakest division.� A good coach who wasn't so myopic and mule
stubborn could turn around this underachieving team, but when you're guaranteed
at least 2 more seasons of work and you're making several million per annum, the
current coach ain't gonna right this sinking, stinking ship. �The time should now be used to play
youngsters, instead of playing under-performing veterans who surely won't be
back next season.� But don't count on
it, as Cowher refused to do that in '98 and '99 when the team had no hope of
making the playoffs. �The only ray of
sunshine is that more and more fans now see what an overrated, under-achieving
coach Billy Cowher truly is and hopefully the fans will vocally demand Cowher's
rightful removal as head coach.� It all
starts at the top, and Billy Cowher's been a horrible flop.� ����