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Stillers-Jags Postgame Analysis and Grades

January 14, 2018 by Still Mill

Jags 45, Stillers 42 ……. Jan 14, 2018………AFC Div Playoffs


Stillers-Jags Postgame Analysis and Grades


The Stillers hosted the lowly Jags in the AFC Div playoffs.   Sure as shit, the Stillers start out slow and sluggish, and before ya knew it, it was 21-0.   The Stillers clawed back, but every time they cut the margin to 7, The Softee Defense would rapidly allow Jax to march as easy as pie for yet another score.  



QB:   Had a decent game, but not optimal.   Threw off his BACK foot, and got INT’d, 1Q, at his own 21 on the 2d series of the game.  


Then held the ball FOREVER, then foolishly allowed the ball to be stripped, and it was returned for a TD, late 2Q, to serve as a dagger, making the score 28-7.   


Had 14 straight completions from the late 2Q to the late 3Q, to lead the team back to within 1 score.  


Nifty lateral throw to Bell for the TD that made it 42-34 (before the PAT).  


1st & G at the 5, under a minute left in the game……and Ben is standing back there, scanning all over, and then gets grabbed at and gets flagged for Grounding.   Just fuking FLING the ball into the bleachers…..!   You cannot take a sack or a grounding there.    On a first down, get rid of the ball.    A score earlier could have made for an interesting finish.  Ben ended up with 469 yards, 2nd most in NFL playoff history, as well as 5 TDs, but it won’t earn him a top grade.     B+ 


Bell - had only a so-so game, gaining 67 on 16 carries, and then 88 on 9 grabs.    He struggled in 3d & 4th down short-yardage situations, and granted, the blocking was subpar.   He may very well have played his final game in a Stiller uni.    B


Ridley - never had PT on offense. 



Nix - saw some PT here and there, although never on 4th & inches.  



Brownie –  stellar game after missing the past 3 with the calf.   Despite getting blatantly held and interfered with, AB snared a clutch TD, mid 2Q.   Near miraculous fingertip TD grab on 4th & 5, 9:00 4Q.  Had 7 grabs for 12, and like the season opener, was one of the very few who showed up with his A game.     A+   


Bryant - superb grab of a deep ball, going from shade to sunlight (which is never easy for a WR) to catch a TD and make it a 14-point game just before halftime.   Had a long RAC late in the game.   Sadly, these were his only 2 grabs on a day when his QB hrew the pill 58 times.  Not sure why he was such a limited participant, so to speak.      B


Eli - cut the completely wrong way on an early 3rd & 8, which then landed him 2 yards short.  Fuking stupid.   Stellar grab to go up and snare a high crosser, late 1Q.   Had 5 grabsfor 42 before getting nicked up late in the game.    B- 


Heyward-Gay – played very little on O.  


JuJu - nearly hauled in the 4th & 1 deep crosser, but tight coverage allowed the DB to punch the ball loose as the WR hit the ground.   (He was actually blatantly held during his pattern but no flag was thrown.)    Had 3grabsfor 5 yards, which is vastly disappointing from this scheme after he had emerged in the latter half of the season.    B- 



Jesse James - nice side-step along the sideline chalk, 3Q.   This was his lone grab. 


Grimble - unable to climb the ladder and haul in a high pass in the EZ, late 4Q.  


McDonald - good RAC to gain 11, late 2Q.  But on the next play, he allowed a ball to deflect off his arm on a behind pass, which was nearly INTd.   (Poor pass.)   Good RAC work in the 3Q on multiple grabs.  Had an astonishing 10 grabs for 112 yards, by far his most production of an injury-riddled season.    A



OL:  Overall, this vaunted, overpaid line was sluggish.  They continually failed to get much push, and allowed loads of backside pursuit.     C- 


Villeneueva -  got completely tooled and overpowered on the strip of Ben, late 2Q, which led to the fumble recovery and TD by Jax.   Very poor, and soft.  He would have been savagely eaten alive next week by Harrison.   


Gilbert -  FatAss Marcus -- surprise !! -- got injured in the 1st half and did not return.   Between his fat-assed injuries and his 4 game suspension, this fatass cost a ton of cap dollars and provided minimal production. 


Foster –  Had his usual struggles.  


Pouncey - vastly over-rated, he never once dominated his man to the point where the offense could pound the rock.


DeCastro – Got abused for a sack, late 2Q.  Another over-rated, overhyped fat ass. 



Hargrave - continually got caved in at the point of attack.   Looked slow as whaleshit as well.     C


Heyward – so much for being named All Pro.    Finishedthe gamewith (hold your laughter, please)  ONE solo and 0 assists.   Was a complete nobody the entire game.    F


Tuitt – finally made a play, late 3Q, by grabbing the RB on a screen for no gain.    Another vaunted DE, had all of 2 solos the entire game.    D+ 


Alu - did little against his former team.  


Walton - got blown off the ball on the 1-yard TD plunge, 4Q. 



Vinnie– got injured in the 1H, but gutted it out and played the 2H.    Had 6 solos and 4 As, but his struggles in the 1H allowed Jaxto jump out to the comfy lead.   C+ 


Moats - thankfully rarely played, if at all. 


Chickillo - got a few token snaps. 


Watt - forced a throw-away, 2Q.   Good stop of Yeldon on screen, 2Q.   Did very, very little as a pass rusher, and had only 1 solo and 1 A.    Not good enough.    C


Dupree – Literally STOOD AROUND WATCHING on the Fornette plunge, 1Q, in which the RB kept chugging the pile an extra FOUR yards. Just stood directly nearby and fuking watched !!     Got completely bamboozled on a Bortles keeper, 2Q, which moved the chains.   Got a flimsy, ankle nip tackle on a plunge., 12:00 2Q.   Was UNTOUCHED and came off the backside for a solo, 4Q.    Got credited with 3 solos and 1 A in a soft-as-butter effort.     For a starting OLB in his third season, this was unacceptably piss poor.    C- 


Spence - went far too low, and too soft, on the Fornette high-dive into the EZ on the 4th & 1 TD plunge, opening drive.  Very poor.    Got tooled by Fornette on a pass play, 2Q, although Forn got injured on the lick by Artie.   A few plays later, on 3d & 4, he again was too slow and too late to defeldct the completion.   Ended his shit afternoon by biting foolishly on the PAP and allowing an easy lob to the FB for a TD.   Pretty much ate dogshit from a bowl the entire game.    F


Fort - got a paw on a 3D pass just before it arrived to a TE, mid 3Q, to force a punt.  He then, however, pumped the dog on a 3d & 10 on the next series, failing to complete an ankle-grab tackle of a screen pass, which turned a 3-yard gain into 12 yards.    



Mitchell –  poor angle on deep ball, 2Q, in which he inexplicably veered AWAY from where the ball was obviously going to land at or near the WR.   Just unbelievable.    If ya didn’t know any better, you’d assume a guy making a play like that, at THIS level, was trying to throw the ballgame.   Had 4 solos, and of course, ZERO passes defended.    D    


Gay  -  inserted latein the game, he stood around, on a key 3d & 5, and watched yeldon run a flare pattern, and then aimlessly and stupidly took a poor angle, which allowed a FORTY yard game to basically salt the game away.     Let us pray and hope this was Gay’s final game in a PIT uniform.    D


Haden - good coverage on deep post, 2Q.     Way too soft on the 3d & 10 curl to Lee, 4Q, which got a 1st down and then set up the deep ball and the short TD run.  Had some good run stops in the 2H.      B+ 


Burns - busted up a 3D pass, mid 1Q.   Busted up a pass, 3d & 10, first play 4Q.  Got burned on a deep post, 4Q, which set up a 1 yard TD plunge.    Burns is famous for falling asleep at least once a game and getting burned, and of course he did so today.    C-


Davis - nabbed Fornette for no gain, last play 3Q.    Had a fairly strong game, leading the D with 9 solos and also 3 As.     B


Hilton - saw a good amount of PT, but unfortunately did little.   C


Sutton - Did nothing, although his PT was meager.   


Spec teams:  

Jordan Berry – punted just twice.     Shit pooch punt, late 3Q, which landed around the 10 and then rabbit-hopped like a lightning bolt into the EZ.   Brilliant !!      This POS can never be counted in, in clutch situations, to pin an opponent inside their 5.    Sure enough, of course, he’ll be handed the starting punting chores on a silver platter come July.   C- 


Boswell –    Started the game dubiously enough, with a shallow, short KO to the 5, which was returned to the 34.    Late in the game, booted the worst onsides KO in modern NFL history.   Ball had NO CHANCE of ever going the 10 yards with the trajectory it was on.   Shame that the great season he had gets pissed away with this shoddy effort.     C- 


Shoddy coverage and tackling, opening KO of the game.   Complete barf, actually. 


Rogers - timid ever since he was benched after the muffed punt in Chico, he allowed an early punt to land instead of making a routine FC.    


AB – no PT as a PR. 


Golden blocked a punt, 2d play of 4Q.   Of course, in keeping with how this game went, the punt actually went FORWARD 15 yards, which was a fortuitous break for Jax.  


OC:   Just another shit day at the office with Haley.  This is the simpleton who began the season, if you recall, with like FIVE  bubble screens in the first 7 plays against lowly Clev.   In this game, he began the game with this asinine SPREAD offense, no RB, which led to a 3-and-out followed by an INT on 3d & 10 on the 2nd 3-play possession.  


Against THIS defense, with a timeout to plan, and fuking Haley calls a toss sweep on 4th and THREE INCHES ???   Against this defense, you SIMPLY CANNOT run wide, yet there was Dumbass Haley, ordering just that, time and time again. .  Then, later in the game, on 4th and a FOOT, he again eschews the QB SNEAK and calls for a high risk, low probability DEEP crosser to a rookie WR.   Just fuking brainless.   Sure, the offense put up 42 points against a superb defense, but no less than 3ofthese TDs were superlative, circus-type catches, which you simply cannot count on time and time and time again.   With any luck, this will be Idiot Haley’s final game as the OC.    C+ 



Keith Assler had his WEEKLY luxury that he’s had ALL season, facing yet another dreg QB, this time Blake Chortles.    Sure enough, of course, Assler comes out all confused and befuddled, and Bortles marches his team 66 yards for a cake-easy opening TD march.   This happened pretty much all game long, in which Assler was completely incapable of stopping this feeble, sorry-assed, ONE dimensional offense.  


3d & 5, 8:00 4Q, and Assler allows a long flare pass to Yeldon. Good for 40 yards.   


Jax’s 45 points matches the Fish in 1984 for most points scored against PIT in the  playoffs.   Of course, in 1984, the Steelers were on the ROAD, and facing some guy named Dan Marino.   Assler had the luxury of facing a POS QB like Blake Chortles.     Yes, I realize 7 points came off the fumble return.   The other 38 came against this diarrhea-soft defense.     Even the late FG was the result of allowing NINE yards on the ground on 3 plunges when EVERYBODY in the entire stadium knew the Jags were content to plunge the ball.   All in all, just another shit day at the office for Keith Assler, who was gifted this job and has held onto the job despite doing absolutely NOTHING of any creativity or ingenuity.    It’s high time Assler be sent packing, as this job is clearly too big for a dimwitted dullard such as himself.    F  


HC:  Mike Dumblin talked brazenly and foolishly in his TV interview with Dungy about New England this, New England that, like the damned fool that he is.   Sure as shit, he, and his team, completely overlook the Faguars, getting ambushed early on  AT HOME to the tune of being down 21-0 and 28-7.   I could give a flying fuk what feeble-assed claims Asslin says after this game in terms of “we didn’t overlook them”.   Fact is, HE DID, and his overly complacent team DID.   


Let us not forget that Jax called a timeout prior to the 4th and INCHES, 1Q, in which Asslin therefore had COMPLETE APPROVAL with the dumbassed idea by Haley to call a toss sweep.  And remember, the toss sweep is what was called on THIRD down, and it was barely marginally successful.    Against THIS defense, this was assaholicism at its worst.   You cannot run wide against a defense with this much speed and athleticism. 


Does anyone on this staff understand the concept of accepting a TOUCHBACK on a KO, late in a game in which you are behind ????    Why on earth did Toussaint return the KO with like 4 minutes left, chewing up 6 seconds in the process??    The same thing happened in the NE loss, when JuJu stupidly took out a DEEP KO.    This comes down to COACHING, in which you ORDER the returned to take the knee or allow the ball to skitter into the EZ, thereby saving precious seconds. 


What exactly was the purpose of the final KO with ONE second left ???    Surely Asslin ordered it, which was a relatively long boot down the field to a Jax player perched at his own 16.   I mean, which not a high chopper of an onsides-like kick, which might get muffed, and which would allow the Stillers to at least TRY to scoop up the ball and try the old Stanford-Cal lateral-ooski play.    I mean, why just fuking quite like that??    Oh, yeah…..that’s right…..Big Mike Asslin is a quitter.


All this defense did the 1H  is get GOUGED on the ground,  and in the 2H,  just TITTY FOUGHT as ShitAss Bortles went thru a PROGRESSION of FOUR READS   before finding a WIDE open receiver time and time again.    Oh, yea, let us not forget……it was Mike Asslin who ran James Harrison out of town.   Gee, like this Softee Defense couldn’t have used Harrison’s tenacity, edge-setting, run-stuffing, and QB attacking in this game….?     What a dumb-asssed POS Mike Stoogelin is.   F-


Synopsis:   Another typical egg lay by Mike Asslin come playoff time.   He’s all too similar to Billy Cowhard…..continually getting out-prepared and out-schemed come playoff time.   No one in the NFL the past 10 years has pissed away more talent and more golden opportunities to advance to the Sup Bowl, than Michael Asslin.   



(Still Mill and -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)

Follow Mill on Twitter, at StillMill1


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