Ravens 16, Stillers 13 (OT) ���. Nov. 20, 2005
����Game #10�
Stillers-Ravens Postgame
Analysis and Grades
The
Stillers traveled to Baltimore to face the lowly Ravens, and the Stillers
graciously stooped to the host's level with a colossal team stink, bowing out
meekly in a 16-13 OT loss.�
Grades:
QB:�
With Benji Roth still on the mend, Tommy Saddox got the start and was
absolutely appalling.� He completed barely
half his passes, and was scattershot the entire afternoon.�� Worse, The Moomy showed no pocket presence,
getting stripped, getting sacked, and failing to spot open receivers.� Even more worse, The Sadd Ox showed little
field presence, burning 2 precious timeouts in the 2nd half with a combination
of confusion and failure to keep track of the playclock.� I won't go over each and every Maddox
blunder -- it's far too sickening to regurgitate such gristle -- but there were
some prominently poor moments.� He
foolishly allowed the ball to slip from his hand on a pump in the 1Q, which
luckily was ruled an incomplete pass, but in all actuality was a dumbassed
fumble.� �He underthrew a wide-open Ward on a deep up-route
down the seam in the 2Q; the 32-yard gain would have been a long TD if Tommy
Popgun had put some mustard on the pass.�
He wildly overthrew Miller on a seamer in the 2Q, which should have been
an easy INT for Rolle, who dropped the ball.�
The INT off the foot of Ward was really a shabbily thrown pass that Ward
was trying to make a circus catch of.� The
Mommy took a sack on 4th & inches in the 3Q, failing to throw the ball to
either Miller or Kreider, both of whom were wide open.� In OT, Carter dropped an easy INT on a
horrific misfire by Saddox.�� Perhaps
most hilarious was The Mommy, the slowest human being on the planet, trying to
scramble for yardage on 3d & 17, which ended up about 9 yards
short of the sticks.� In all, one of the
worst, barf-laden QB efforts from a veteran QB that I've ever seen in the
NFL.� For the life of me, I have no idea
what Saddox is doing on the roster of a team that is supposedly gunning for a
conference title.� �F.�
�
RB:�
Parker got the start and was quiet in the 1st half, but turned it up in
the 2nd half with a very good effort.�
He had 18 rushes for 59 yards, and 2 grabs for 22, including a sterling
11-yard TD in which he took a screen and made a sweet cutback to hit the open
crease.� Parker also had a superb RAC on
a 3rd & 3 on the final play of the 3Q, gaining 17 yards on the play.� Perhaps after these 2 aforementioned plays are
reviewed by Ken WiseHunt, Parker will see passes thrown his way more than the
token once-per-game safety valve dumpoff.�
Parker had a nice read on the 14-yard toss sweep in the 4Q, showing good
patience.� On the down note, Parker had
a timid run on a toss sweep in the 3Q, meekly turning the ball into the penetrating
defender for a 4-yard loss rather than turning on the burst and at least trying
to get something positive around the corner.�
Doughboy Bettis was largely ineffective, carrying the ball twice for a
whopping total of (hold your snickering, please) 0 yards.� Worse, the Fat Tub o' Lard failed to pick up
a blitzing Tommy Polley, who ran right by the The Doughboy en route to an
8-yard sack in the 2Q.� Haynes had the
obligatory SG draw for 0 yards, and had a very nice RAC effort on 17-yard pass
play.� ��Staley did not dress.� Park
& Haynes = B-.��� Bettis = D.
FB: Kreider had 2 grabs for 14 yards,
but also dropped a pass in the 2Q.� The
blocking was ok, but not dominant.�
B-.�
WR:�
Ward led the way with 6 grabs for 81 yards.�� Hines was one of the very few Stillers that showed up with a game
face and a full bottle of intensity, bowling over defenders and plowing for loads
of RAC yardage.� The 11-yard reception late
in the 4Q was a case of Ward catching the 0-step hitch and then running over
Rolle and getting OOB.� In the 3Q, he
had a superb juggling grab on 3d & 4 that netted 9 yards and sustained the
drive.� The only downer was the unfortunate
and completely unintentional karate kick of a juggled ball that ended up being
INT'd by Suggs late in the 4Q in Balt. territory.� El chipped in with 4 grabs, including a 23-yard seamer in the
4Q.� El also had a nice RAC on the WR
screen, which netted 18 yards.� Cedric
had 1 grab for 25 yards, and then, of course, slipped and stumbled after a very
short RAC.� Morgan dropped a deep lob on
the team's first drive, and was hit with a totally bullshit PI flag as
well.� B-.�
TE:�
Miller had a decent day, snaring 5 passes for 37 yards.� He'd have caught many more balls, but he was
tasked to spend an inordinate amount of time pass blocking.� Tuman played some, and did nothing. �B+.�
OL: Overall, the line was
wretched.� They allowed constant leakage
on both running and passing plays.� Trai
Essex started at LT in place of Marvel Smith, and Trai was eaten alive like a
tray of hors d'oeuvres.� Suggs in
particular tooled Essex constantly, and when Suggs wasn't inflicting abuse,
Anthony Weaver was.� I was appalled at
how clumsy and oafish Essex was, especially after all the fawning over this
pile o' shit by the local media "experts".� The guy reminded me of a younger, slimmer version of Larry
Tharpe.� The rest of the line didn't
pick up the pace with Smith out; instead, they wallowed around like pigs in
shit.� Every one of the starters, aside
from the rookie Essex, was flagged for a false start, which is entirely
inexcusable and embarrassing.�� The lowlight
of their ineptitude was the failed succession of 3d & 1 and 4 & inches
in the 3Q.� C-.�
DL:�
The D-line played okay, limiting Taylor and Lewis to only moderate
success.� Leading the way was Aaron
Smith, who had a monster game after being all too quiet as of late.� He played with a boatload of intensity and
hustle, and was also credited with the FF that Lewis coughed up.� Fat Casey had a superb penetration and grab
of Boller on the 1st & goal plunge, which was initially ruled a fumbled pitch
by Boller but then changed to a Hampton tackle and a 2-yard loss.� This was unfortunate, as Hymes snared a TD
pass 2 plays later, which was a huge 7-point change.� Kimo chipped in with 5 solos, and Hoke, Keisel, and Kirschke all
saw work in relief.�� �B.�
LB:�
Another mediocre showing from the LB crew.� Kriewaldt got the mediocrity going early, whiffing on Lewis on
the game's first play, resulting in a 6-yard gain on a sweep to the right.� Porter had a good stack and stop of a Lewis
plunge on the 1st drive.� He was
untouched around the RT of Balt. in the 4Q and whiffed on Boller,
but Kimo was there for the stop and a 2-yard loss.� Porter flailed and whiffed on Taylor's 5-yard run late in the
2Q.� Porter also flailed on Green after
a dumpoff near the s-line on the 1st play of the 2Q.� Overall, Porter was fairly quiet and marginally effective.� Haggans was also quiet at times, though he
did turn the corner on Pashos and drop Bolller for a sizeable loss.� Haggans clumsily slipped while covering Heap
in the 2Q on 3d & 8, which allowed Heap to rumble for a 14-yard gain.� Larry SlowaFoote had a marginal game.� He was incredibly weak on a Taylor 1Q plunge,
allowing 9 yards in the process.� He was
abused by Taylor on a 3d & 9 dumpoff in the 1Q, moving as slow as molasses while
Taylor ran away for a 14-yard gainer and the first down.� SlowaFoote was flagged for a critical 5-yard
masking call in OT, which helped Balt. get into FG range.� Foote did collect a Dong Sack when he came
up the gut, untouched (thanks to a missed pickup by J. Lewis).� Harrison got some work in relief, and his
biggest contribution was to commit a dumbassed roughing-the-passer flag on a 3d
& 4 pass that was stopped for 1 yard.�
This stupidity allowed the Ravens to continue their march, which
culminated in a 1Q FG.� Very little pass
harassment and no impact plays by the LB crew, which was vastly
disappointing.� C-.�
DB:�
The secondary faced a subpar QB and an average WR corps that has just 1
NFL caliber starter, but they had their struggles.� Town had a nice pick in the 1Q, as well as a nice bust-up of a
slant to Clayton in the 3Q.� But he gave
up a TD to Hymes for a crucial 2Q TD on 3d & goal at the 3; this wasn't as
much a case of getting beaten as simply being too short to make a play on a
highly thrown pass that the tall Hymes was able to snag.� Hope had a nice slash and stuff of Taylor for
a 4-yard loss in the 1Q.� Ike gave up a
fair amount of short and mid-range stuff, but had good coverage and a bust-up
on the bomb to Clayton in the 1Q.� He
did allow Johnson to burst ahead and nearly haul in the deep bomb in the EZ in
OT, but Johnson was unable to hold onto the fingertip attempt.� On Taylor's 13-yard rumble to the Stiller 1
in the 2Q, Ike played paw-paw while Townsend got trucked.� Very poor.�
Polamalu was active, but missed a half-dozen tackles with an assortment
of flops.� C+.�
Spec
teams:� A wretched, pitiful disgrace by the entire
ST elements.� The KO and punt coverage
was abysmal, including the 45-yard KO return after Reed's FG that set up Balt.
for their 2Q TD drive, as well as a 14-yard PR that set up Balt. at their own
44 in OT, which they converted into the game-winning FG.� Pis Gardocki punted like manure, kicking the
ball as though it were filled with concrete, not air.� Ric Colclough had the golden opportunity to down a punt inside
the Balt. 1, but instead of tossing the ball backwards like you see happen all
over the NFL and NCAA every weekend, the imbecile squeezed onto the ball and
held it for dear life as though it was his first piece of ass, and his momentum
carried him, and the ball, into the EZ for a touchback.� This ranks up there as one of the most
boneheaded plays I've ever seen in my years of watching the NFL.� On the first punt in OT, the entire coverage
team, like drunken derelicts, stood and watched as the punt hit and then rolled
backwards, rather than downing the ball immediately in order to
minimize lost yardage.� The KOR and PR
teams did nothing.� Chidi was flagged
for a personal foul during a punt return.�
McFadden was flagged, if you can believe it, on not 1, but 2 successive
punt formations in OT for a false start.�
The lone bright spot was Reed, who nailed 2 FGs.�� D-.�
OC:�
Ken CheezenHunt had a spotty day in which he blindly pulled from the grab
bag with mostly poor results.� The 3d
& 3 on the 2nd series enraged me, as the moron went with a shotgun formation
and ran the ol' SG draw to Haynes, netting all of 0 yards for a piece of the
Gay Play o' the Day award. The other half of the award went to the El-led
option play on 4th & inches.� Rather
than running a quick sneak behind Faneca and Hartings, Dumbass CheezenHunt gets
cute and calls the option play, with was strung out for no gain.� Having Heath Miller spend 40% of his day
pass blocking was as asinine as it gets.�
Sure, the line needed help, but that's where you can use a Kreider or a
Haynes in that role, as Miller's size, hands, and receiving ability demand that
he be in the pattern 98% of the time.�
At least 1 of the 2nd half wasted TOs, if not 2, must be partially
blamed on the Cheeze Hunt, who must have been slow or clumsy in his input of
the playcall and personnel.� Lastly, notice
how many deep shots the Ravens took, and then review how few the Stillers
took.� Dinking and dumping with only a
very rare stab at a moderate downfield pass, is a recipe for scoring 13 points.
�Cheezenhunt got what he apparently wanted
-- 13 points in 70+ minutes of football against a defense missing its 2 best
players.� C-.�
DC:�
Dick is still bedeviled on 3rd downs, giving up 7 of 20 to a Balt. offense
that is among the bottom feeders of the NFL.��
Instead of imposing its will on offenses, the defense has been and is
meekly playing "catch and react", which, given the extremely low
caliber of the Balt offense, is grossly inexcusable.� C.�
HC:� Cowhard
allowed his team to come into this game as lax and flat as we've seen for quite
some time.� Few players wanted to hit;
most wanted to only paw and grope.� I
can't recall the last time this Stiller team played an entire game with such
little hitting, but it must have been in 2003.�
Cowhard is supposed to be some kind of ST guru, but his entire ST unit
stunk out TeaBag Stadium today, and to add salt to the wound, his punt team was
flagged for back-to-back false starts by the same player.� One has to also wonder exactly what Cowhard
saw, and sees, in Bomby Maddox, as the rest of the league and the general
public see nothing but a bard-laden QB that has no business being on an NFL
roster.� Overall, the team played a not-to-lose
style of football, which, combined with a meek, avoid-contact style of play,
was a surefire recipe for defeat.� You
can be sure, though, that Cowhard will be quick and firm to spread the blame
around to everyone but the man in the mirror.�
�D.�
Synopsis:�
There are few things more peeving and annoying than giving away a game
to a vastly inferior team, which is exactly what the Stillers did in today's
relatively boring defeat.� We've all
seen teams -- in many sports in addition to football -- valiantly rally around
an injury and fight like rabid wolves. Instead, this team folded its tent and
mailed in their effort, which is nothing short of shameful.� Next up, on the road against the undefeated Indy
Colts on MNF, which is a scary, horrifying proposition for this teetering
ballclub.�